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More and more people are buying fashionable clothes. Does it have more negative or positive effects? v.1

More and more people are buying fashionable clothes. Does it have more negative or positive effects? v. 1
Nowadays, trendy dresses are in vogue, and the majority of folks purchase these types of outfits to look smart. In my opinion, it has more drawbacks than benefits because it not only causes a waste of money but also ruins the resources used to make them. To commence with, buying fashionable attires is like throwing away your hard-earned money because these garments are more costly, and their trend may remain for only a few months. After that, the masses throw away these clothes in the garbage, which they may hardly wear for two to three times. For example, the price of a regular pent shirt is around one thousand rupees, but funky-clothes price starts at two thousand rupees. So, the price of such dresses is twice as compared with the regular ones. Hence, people spend huge money on them and ruin it. Moreover, for the fashion, folks unnecessarily purchase these outfits even if they do not need it. Hence, it is wastage of resources that are used to manufacture these garments, and it affects the environment as well. For instance, the companies use the materials, which are extracted from the earth, and energy to make these clothes. If folks buy more than they require, the demand increases and more material would be used to manufacture them. Thus, it increases pollution in the environment. Hence, it is apparent that the increase in demand for trendy attires deteriorates natural resources. To summarize, when people purchase fashionable dresses, it is wastage of money and harms the earth's atmosphere. Thus, I think that it has more harmful effects than advantages.
Nowadays, trendy dresses are in vogue, and the majority of folks
purchase
these types of outfits to look smart. In my opinion, it has more drawbacks than benefits
because
it not
only
causes a waste of
money
but
also
ruins the resources
used
to
make
them.

To commence with, buying fashionable attires is like throwing away your
hard
-earned
money
because
these garments are more costly, and their trend may remain for
only
a few months. After that, the masses throw away these clothes in the garbage, which they may hardly wear for two to three times.
For example
, the price of a regular pent shirt is around one thousand rupees,
but
funky-clothes price
starts
at two thousand rupees.
So
, the price of such dresses is twice as compared with the regular ones.
Hence
,
people
spend huge
money
on them and ruin it.

Moreover
, for the fashion, folks
unnecessarily
purchase
these outfits even if they do not need it.
Hence
, it is wastage of resources that are
used
to manufacture these garments, and it affects the environment
as well
.
For instance
, the
companies
use
the materials, which
are extracted
from the earth, and energy to
make
these clothes. If folks
buy
more than they require, the demand increases and more material would be
used
to manufacture them.
Thus
, it increases pollution in the environment.
Hence
, it is apparent that the increase in demand for trendy attires deteriorates natural resources.

To summarize
, when
people
purchase
fashionable dresses, it is wastage of
money
and harms the earth's atmosphere.
Thus
, I
think
that it has more harmful effects than advantages.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are buying fashionable clothes. Does it have more negative or positive effects? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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