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Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. v. 2
Although many people might think children receive much knowledge from their school teachers than from any other technological sources, I do believe students can complement their studies with information found on internet because it is sometimes easier to understand a topic and information could be even more updated than the one presented by the teacher. Technology is a very useful tool for education, internet and television are both full of varied information that teach their users, especially young ones, about different topics. Furthermore, these sources present the information in fun ways which entertain students and show them learning from a distinct manner than it is taught at schools. Videos, documentaries and even games are, for instance, more interesting ways for students to learn about something else than listening to master classes every day. Moreover, there is the possibility that the school teachers are not as updated as one would think. Despite the regulations of the schools about training teachers, children and young adults have the perfect ability to use internet to look up information and they can actually find much updated developments for an issue than the teachers know themselves. For example, science advancements are developed at all times and it is faster and easier to learn about them on the internet than to expect a professor to know them all. To conclude, I totally disagree with the statement that says professors are the key to knowledge; technology and other sources could be even more educational than a person, so students should use these sources and take the most advantages out of them.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
children receive much knowledge from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
than from any other technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, I do believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can complement their studies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
found on internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
easier to understand a topic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
could be even more updated than the one presented by the teacher.

Technology is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful tool for education, internet and television are both full of varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that teach their users,
especially
young ones, about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
topics.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in fun ways which entertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them learning from a distinct manner than it
is taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Videos, documentaries and even games are,
for instance
, more interesting ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn about something else than listening to master classes every day.

Moreover
, there is the possibility that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not as updated as one would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Despite the regulations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
about training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, children and young adults have the perfect ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet to look up
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
information and
they can actually find much updated developments for an issue than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
know themselves.
For example
, science advancements
are developed
at all times and it is faster and easier to learn about them on the internet than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a professor to know them all.

To conclude
, I
totally
disagree with the statement that says professors are the key to knowledge; technology and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
could be even more educational than a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and take the most advantages out of them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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