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Monitoring or observing children while they are playing with their friends is an effective way to solve children's misbehavior problem. v.2

Monitoring or observing children while they are playing with their friends is an effective way to solve children's misbehavior problem. v. 2
Nowadays children are susceptible to different sources which can influence their behavior. This influence is not always positive and there is situation where results in misbehaving of them. Adults or parents should do something to prevent their offspring from inappropriate attitudes like aggression or talking with bad words with their parents or other children. I believe one effective way is to monitor children closely while they are playing with their friends. This close supervision helps parents a better understanding the issue and find out the and underlying cause and finally take action in order to solve it. Observing children while they are playing is one of the effective ways to understand them better. Many children act differently when they are playing with their friends. They are more honest and act without any consideration, while they show some kind of shift in their attitudes when they face an adult. Observing them in this situation can help their parents or other adults, whether this they themselves are an exception. However, if the monitoring shows that the child behavior is consistent, the parents can search for other problems or diseases like hyper-activity which needs a professional help. The monitoring can also reveal if the playing or the friend are caused this situation. In this case, the situation will change and adults understand that the problem comes from his or her friends or the kind of games. As a result, adults can limit their child friends or ask them not to play a special kind of game. Parents can also inform other parents about their child situation and explain how they can face this together. After understanding the cause of misbehavior parents should take action to save their children from further harm and misconducting. Several options are available based on the result of monitoring. Some parents may find the child' s friend or the kind of game caused the problem, as stated before they could limit their friend or ban the game, respectively. They also should put the child in situations where he or she can find another friend and offer a suitable game to them. Because giving something from a child without providing a replacement might harm the child. However, if they find out that the child behavior is consistent they should talk with a Trappist first. In most cases, adults behavior themselves caused the problem, so they are the ones who should have therapy sessions. Otherwise, children should be checked by Trappist closely and probably take some test. In sum, children misbehavior might come from different sources and observe children while they are playing is the key to the underlying cause. Thereafter, by understanding the cause, it is easier to find a proper solution. Despite the solutions discussed here, talking with a professional is a profound action the adults can take.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are susceptible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources which can influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. This influence is not always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
where results in misbehaving of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adults
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their offspring from inappropriate attitudes like aggression or talking with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
words with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I believe one effective way is to monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
closely
while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This close supervision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
a better understanding the issue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out the and underlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
and
finally
take action in order to solve it.

Observing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
is one of the effective ways to understand them better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
act
differently
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. They are more honest and act without any consideration, while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of shift in their attitudes when they face an adult. Observing them in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, whether this they themselves are an exception.
However
, if the monitoring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is consistent, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
or diseases like hyper-activity which needs a professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The monitoring can
also
reveal if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
are caused
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
In this case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
understand that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
or ask them not to play a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of game.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can
also
inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how they can face this together.

After understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of misbehavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take action to save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
further
harm and misconducting. Several options are available based on the result of monitoring.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of game caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, as stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they could limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
or ban the game,
respectively
. They
also
should put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where he or she can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and offer a suitable game to them.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
giving something from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
without providing a replacement might harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
However
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is consistent they should talk with a Trappist
first
.
In most cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
themselves caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are the ones who should have therapy sessions.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by Trappist
closely
and
probably
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.

In sum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
misbehavior might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources and observe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
is the key to the underlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
. Thereafter, by understanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
, it is easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a proper solution. Despite the solutions discussed here, talking with a professional is a profound action the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can take.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
77Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Monitoring or observing children while they are playing with their friends is an effective way to solve children's misbehavior problem. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
469 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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