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Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or diasgree? v.1

Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. v. 1
Nowadays, it is acknowledged that students from suburban regions and deprived families find it arduous to receive higher education. Thus, it is thought by many people that universities ought to provide necessary assistance to learners of rural areas. I completely agree with the given notion and believe that university's support play pivotal role students of poor financial background and rural areas. To begin with, it is certainly true that due to living conditions and economic issues many intelligent students become unable to study in universities. Therefore, if higher education institutes provide them some facilities such as scholorships or means of transportation such as vehicle to commute from institute to their resident, it would become easier for these students to get enrolled in universities. Besides this, free or discounted course book can be rendered to disadvantaged students to aid them. For example, in India, students who come from poor families are provided with free books and stationary to motivate them to study, regardless of their financial conditions. Furthermore, universities can also offer opportunities for students to earn some wherewithal while studying. To be more specific, universities can offer several on-campus jobs to poor students so that they can be able to fund their educational expenses. Moreover, since some occupations demand university demand necessary qualification in relevant subject, it is becoming inevitable for students to pursue higher education in order to get secure job. Hence, if students are unable to get admission in universities due to lack of monetary resource, they would not get suitable occupations, eventually it may have untoward repercussions on a nation's economy. Thus, universities should disburse its resources to help financially incapacitated learners. To conclude, it is clear that universities can help deprived students to a great extent by providing them financial aids, efficient transportation service, necessary academic resources and some means of earning. In my opinion, universities should strive to assist impoverished students by allocating certain funds so that they can get high paid jobs and add to the nation's economy.
Nowadays, it
is acknowledged
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from suburban regions and deprived families find it arduous to receive higher education.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ought to provide necessary assistance to learners of rural areas. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and believe that university's support play pivotal role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of poor financial background and rural areas.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
certainly
true that due to living conditions and economic issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become unable to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Therefore
, if higher education institutes provide them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
scholorships
or means of transportation such as vehicle to commute from institute to their resident, it would become easier for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Besides
this, free or discounted course book can
be rendered
to disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to aid them.
For example
, in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poor families
are provided
with free books and stationary to motivate them to study, regardless of their financial conditions.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can
also
offer opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wherewithal while studying. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can offer several on-campus jobs to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be able to fund their educational expenses.
Moreover
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
demand necessary qualification in relevant subject, it is becoming inevitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue higher education in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
secure job.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
due to lack of monetary resource, they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suitable occupations,
eventually
it may have untoward repercussions on a nation's economy.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should disburse its resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
financially
incapacitated learners.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to a great extent by providing them financial aids, efficient transportation service, necessary academic resources and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
means of earning. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should strive to assist impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by allocating certain funds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high paid jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the nation's economy.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Students from disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to gat a university education. Some people believw that universities should help them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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