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People are migrating away from agricultural background to cities in search for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v.1

People are migrating away from agricultural background to cities in search for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 1
In most of the rural areas, work opportunities are fewer compared to the opportunities in the big cities. This causes people to move permanently from their agricultural background to the cities searching for work which causes several problems. Firstly, the number of city citizens increases tremendously. This causes the decrease in natural resources that can suffice everyone which in turn increases their prices. Moreover, the cities become very crowded due to the usage of more vehicles and transportation. This also causes more pollution and worse life conditions to live in. Furthermore, the agricultural field will suffer from a shortage in workers, resulting in the need to import different vegetables and fruits from other countries. These problems can be solved by different ways. Firstly, companies should consider opening branches in the rural areas offering specific job opportunities to the people. This would allow them to have a good job without the need to travel to another city. Additionally, agricultural work should be rewarded with more money, which allows people to stay in their countries and lead a good lifestyle simultaneously. Finally, awareness campaigns have to be established to make people in the city realize the importance of farmers causing the city citizens to support them and buy their local products. In conclusion, the migration of farmers to the cities can have various consequences. However, by applying the aforementioned solution, this problem can be solved.
In most of the rural areas, work opportunities are fewer compared to the opportunities in the
big
cities
.
This
causes
people
to
move
permanently
from their agricultural background to the
cities
searching for work which
causes
several problems.

Firstly
, the number of city citizens increases
tremendously
. This
causes
the decrease in natural resources that can suffice everyone which in turn increases their prices.
Moreover
, the
cities
become
very
crowded due to the usage of more vehicles and transportation. This
also
causes
more pollution and worse life conditions to
live
in.
Furthermore
, the agricultural field will suffer from a shortage in workers, resulting in the need to import
different
vegetables and fruits from other countries.

These problems can
be solved
by
different
ways.
Firstly
,
companies
should consider opening branches in the rural areas offering specific job opportunities to the
people
. This would
allow
them to have a
good
job without the need to travel to another city.
Additionally
, agricultural work should
be rewarded
with more money, which
allows
people
to stay in their countries and lead a
good
lifestyle
simultaneously
.
Finally
, awareness campaigns
have to
be established
to
make
people
in the city realize the importance of farmers causing the city citizens to support them and
buy
their local products.

In conclusion
, the migration of farmers to the
cities
can have various consequences.
However
, by applying the aforementioned solution, this problem can
be solved
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People are migrating away from agricultural background to cities in search for work. What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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