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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not. v.124

Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not. v. 124
Borrowing money is usually considered as an awkward situation. Some people even think that it might lead to the disruption of their beautiful relationships with their friends. However, I cannot say I agree with this idea. Personally, I believe that friends would always be willing to provide help to each other as long as it is within their abilities, including money. By nature, friends are expected to be there for each other whenever one of them needs help. Moreover, borrowing a friend’s money, in some ways, may even help strengthen the friendship. As an old saying “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. When a person gets a financial help from his or her friends, the mutual trust between them is likely to be enhanced greatly. On the other hand, some others may argue that people should always avoid borrowing money from their friends since it might lead the relationship to destruction. However, I think this depends on how close the lender and the borrower are and the amount of money lent. In the case they are close friends and the loan is not a huge one, it is absolutely normal for them to lend each other money. Furthermore, people might have financial problems and sometimes they cannot deal with them all on their own. Then, there is nothing wrong when they seek help from their friends. In conclusion, I believe borrowing money seems to not destroy a friendship. As long as the friends are close, the loan is not a fortune and the repayment is on time, the relationship will still be good.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
usually
considered as an awkward situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it might lead to the disruption of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
relationships with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
However
, I cannot say I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
would always be willing to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as long as it is within their abilities, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. By nature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be there for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
whenever one of them needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways, may even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
strengthen the friendship.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying “a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
in need is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
indeed
”. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, the mutual trust between them is likely to
be enhanced
greatly
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others may argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should always avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
since it might lead the relationship to destruction.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this depends on how close the lender and the borrower are and the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
lent. In the case they are close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and the loan is not a huge one, it is
absolutely
normal for them to lend each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might have financial problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they cannot deal with them all on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Then, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
when they seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from their friends.

In conclusion
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
seems to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
a friendship. As long as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are close, the loan is not a fortune and the repayment is on time, the relationship will
still
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not. v. 124

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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