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Every one should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Every one should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 2
There is a tendency in Europe and also on the world that people start shifting into vegetarian diet. First of all, people think that vegetarian diet can help them to attain better health' s state and they want to protest about the lack of animal well-fare in farms. But I believe that a good diet is a diet which is balanced among groups of ingredients. Vegetarian diet can bring you a lot of benefits. Because of low fat and cholesterol intake, vegetarians are not likely to meet some health problems like cadiovascular diseases. Secondly, vegetables and fruits contain tons of vitamins and good fibre which will promote people' s digestive tract and health also. High water concentration in vegetables and fruits can help people' s organs work smoother and help you to fight back the aging process. Thirdly, Animal intensive farming system dispose to the environment a big portion of waste everyday and intensive farm is good place for the development of new diseases, this bioharzard is also exaggerated by the imprudent use of antibiotics in treating animals. Contrary to animal farms, growing plants is a good way to coop with weather change, growing some special food plant can help to reform the fertility of soil and retain soil from the erosion process. But vegetarian diet is not always an elixir for human. Some essential amino acids and vitamins doesnt exist in vegetarians diet, so vegetarians will definitely suffer from the lack of some nutrients, and they have to overcome this by taking supplement pills or functional foods. And when it comes to some activities which require greater strength and amount of energy, vegetarians will find it hard to keep up with people who have normal diet. In some rural area where food resources are limited, becoming a vegetarian is not a wise choice, because rural areas' s people dont have a wide range of choices like those who live in the city, they have to eat whatever the nature or the market offer to them. And to retain most of nutrients in vegetarians food, cooking style play a significant role, it is advisable for vegetarian ingredients to be eaten raw, steamed or stir-fried rather than deep boiled or deep fried like the way European people always treat their food. In conclusion, there are benefits and disadvantages of becoming a vegetarian. But when choosing a suitable diet, people should always look for advices from doctor and other people.
There is a tendency in Europe and
also
on the world that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
shifting into vegetarian diet.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that vegetarian diet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to attain better
Possible spelling mistake found.
health&
#039; s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
state and
they want to protest about the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
well-fare in farms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
diet is a diet which
is balanced
among groups of ingredients.

Vegetarian diet can bring you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and cholesterol intake, vegetarians are not likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems like
Possible spelling mistake found.
cadiovascular
diseases.
Secondly
, vegetables and fruits contain tons of vitamins and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
which will promote
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s digestive tract and health
also
. High water concentration in vegetables and fruits can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s organs work smoother and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you to fight back the aging process.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animal
intensive farming system dispose to the environment a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of waste
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and intensive farm is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
place for the development of new diseases, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
bioharzard
is
also
exaggerated by the imprudent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of antibiotics in treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Contrary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
farms, growing plants is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way to coop with weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
plant can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to reform the fertility of soil and retain soil from the erosion process.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
vegetarian diet is not always an elixir for human.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
essential amino acids and vitamins
Possible spelling mistake found
doesnt
exist in vegetarians diet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vegetarians will definitely suffer from the lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nutrients, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
overcome this by taking supplement pills or functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. And when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities which require greater strength and amount of energy, vegetarians will find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have normal diet. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
resources
are limited
, becoming a vegetarian is not a wise choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
rural
Possible spelling mistake found.
areas&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
have a wide range of choices like those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat whatever the nature or the market offer to them. And to retain
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the nutrients") or simply say "most nutrients".
most of nutrients
in vegetarians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, cooking style play a significant role, it is advisable for vegetarian ingredients to
be eaten
raw, steamed or stir-fried
rather
than deep boiled or
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
deep fried
like the way European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always treat their food.

In conclusion
, there are benefits and disadvantages of becoming a vegetarian.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when choosing a suitable diet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should always look for advices from doctor and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Every one should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
408 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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