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Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

It is obvious fact that traffic congestion become a serious problem around world. For group of people constructing broad and additional roads is a solution, while other claim that government should spend money on manufacturing train and subway lines to overcome this problem. On the one hand, there are clear reasons why the extension and construction of new roadways can decrease the amount of traffic. Firstly, the available roads are not wide enough to serve the quantity of vehicles on the way. It leads to traffic jams, especially in cities with high level of population. Secondly, if more roads constructed well, people have choice to use another route and avoid traffic congestion. However, better and comfortable roads can encourage people to buy cars and traffic disorder will increase in short periods. Contrarily, there are also many evidence why government must spend budget on train and subway lines, to tackle traffic jams. Primarily, trains speed greater than buses or cars so population generally prefer a train to a car, mainly employees. Existing roads to some extend will be free from traffic congestion. Moreover, in cities, there is not sufficiently land for building or extending roads. In comparison, a subway and train network manufactures underground and extra land is unnecessary. To sum up, constructing new and broad ways reduces traffic but it is a temporary solution as better roads encourage people to acquire private vehicles. I totally agree that government must allocate funds to train and subway sphere rather than investing money on roads.
It is obvious fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion become a serious problem around world. For group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
constructing broad and additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is a solution, while other claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
lines to overcome this problem.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reasons why the extension and construction of new roadways can decrease the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
Firstly
, the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are not wide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to serve the quantity of vehicles on the way. It leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams,
especially
in cities with high level of population.
Secondly
, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
constructed well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
another route and avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
However
, better and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
disorder will increase in short periods.

Contrarily
, there are
also
Possible agreement error. The noun evidence seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much evidence", "a good deal of evidence".
many evidence
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
lines, to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
Primarily
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
speed greater than buses or cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
population
generally
prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
to a car,
mainly
employees. Existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
will be free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
Moreover
, in cities, there is not
sufficiently
land for building or extending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
In comparison
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
network manufactures underground and extra land is unnecessary.

To sum up, constructing new and broad ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a temporary solution as better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire private vehicles. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
allocate funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
sphere
rather
than investing money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
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Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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