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In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.32

In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 32
Nowadays old age homes are increasing rapidly in Britain, old people were driven to spend the rest of the life with other old people. Some argue that funding for these homes should be done by government. While others believe that families should take care of their parents by paying for the care. This essay will provide reasons with supporting examples. Every parent will look after their children preciously. Same as that, children should look after the parents when they are old. Although they become older, the expanses should be maintained by their kids. For instance, Father and mother spend almost half of their life raising and protecting kids. Over 60's, It's the duty of every person to protect and feed their parents. Even though they were admitted in old age homes, the expenses must be maintained by the family. Also they need to go and meet them weekly or fortnight, which makes them mentally strong and happy. Government should also lend a helping hand and fund these homes. In some countries senior citizens are given some benefits and pensions. For example, Country like India and Australia are granting the senior citizens with special considerations for medical expenses and funding on a monthly basis. Furthermore, government should also provide subsidies on emergency services. Moreover, parents who lost their child should be taken care by social organizations and government should allocate funds. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both parents and government should fund old age homes. It's our responsibility to take care of them.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are increasing
rapidly
in Britain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were driven
to spend the rest of the life with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that funding for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
should
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. While others believe that families should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
by paying for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. This essay will provide reasons with supporting examples.

Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will look after their children
preciously
. Same as that, children should look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
. Although they become older, the expanses should
be maintained
by their kids.
For instance
, Father and mother spend almost half of their life raising and protecting kids. Over
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "60s".
60's
, It's the duty of every person to protect and feed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Even though
they
were admitted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, the expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be maintained
by the family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they need to go and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them weekly or fortnight, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them mentally strong and happy.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
lend a helping hand and fund these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries senior citizens are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and pensions.
For example
, Country like India and Australia are granting the senior citizens with special considerations for medical expenses and funding on a monthly basis.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
provide subsidies on emergency services.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who lost their child should
be taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
by social organizations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate funds.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should fund
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. It's our responsibility to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old, they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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