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Sports programmes are hugely popular on television nowadays. But some people argue that these programmes are to blame for the poor health of many young people who prefer to watch rather than part take in physical activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Sports programmes are hugely popular on television nowadays. But some people argue that these programmes are to blame for the poor health of many young people who prefer to watch rather than part take in physical activity. v. 2
Television programs based on sports are very popular these days, but many say that it is having a negative effect on youngsters because they just watch these programs and do not play sports. This essay agrees with this opinion because these programs are too addictive, and these programs do nothing to encourage youngsters to play. Sports programmes are very addictive for youth. This is because these programmes present sports as entertainment only and involves too many attractive activities. Most sports programmes use music, different angle cameras and cheerleaders to increase the interest in their show, and youngsters easily get distracted by these fancy tactics. This results in youngsters watching these programmes for many hours, which leaves them with no time to go out of their homes and play sports. For example, a recent survey conducted by Oxford University has found that more than 46% of UK parents say that their kids are addicted to watching sports. Sports shows do not inspire youth to play sports. These programs can highlight the benefits of playing sports, doing exercise or running, however, they only focus on gaining maximum views so that they can make money from advertisements. If these programmes, guide youngsters to actually participate in physical activities, then their programmes will get less advertisements because of fewer viewers. For example, a recent study by the London School of Media has found that more than 89% of sports shows do not promote participation in sports. To conclude, shows based on sports are making youngsters addicted to watching sports, and these kinds of shows have no element to encourage youth towards physical fitness.
Television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
say that it is having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and do not play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are too addictive, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
do nothing to encourage youngsters to play.

Sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addictive for youth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and involves too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
attractive activities. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
music,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
angle cameras and cheerleaders to increase the interest in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, and youngsters
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted by these fancy tactics. This results in youngsters watching these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them with no time to go out of their homes and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by Oxford University has found that more than 46% of UK parents say that their kids
are addicted
to watching sports.

Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
do not inspire youth to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
can highlight the benefits of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, doing exercise or running,
however
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on gaining maximum views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from advertisements. If these
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, guide youngsters to actually participate in physical activities, then their
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun advertisements is countable.
less
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fewer viewers.
For example
, a recent study by the London School of Media has found that more than 89% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
do not promote participation in sports.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are making youngsters addicted to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, and these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have no element to encourage youth towards physical fitness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Sports programmes are hugely popular on television nowadays. But some people argue that these programmes are to blame for the poor health of many young people who prefer to watch rather than part take in physical activity. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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