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Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. v.1

Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. v. 1
Technology has given people wings to fly but along with that, it has made them lazy too. One such technological advancement is television. With different kind of contents being lined up on television series, sports is one such evergreen practice shown on television. People of all age groups watch sports on television. However the ongoing craze of multiple sports draws on television has inspired the young generation to a great extent. Now the question arises, is this practice supposed to be blamed for the poor health of young generation!   The more they watch, the more they become addicted to it, whilst the evolution of sport on television was not meant to spoil brats. The motive to promote sports on televisions was to inspire the young generation to dig in their heels & to achieve success at a higher level. To keep people updated of the latest achievements in sports activities and to instil a feeling of vigour and enthusiasm in people Contradictory to this statement, is the fact that now the young generation takes watching sports on television as a leisure activity. Instead of inspiring, it has instilled a feeling of laziness among youth. Now the young one's just love to have a gala time watching sports. They no more feel the need to go out and partake in physical activities which in turn has affected their health to some extent. In my view, there is no harm in watching sports on television sometimes. But if it exceeds the desired time limit then alarm has to be raised. Along with that watching should not be combined with physical activities. Both relate to a different aspect, the former being a leisure activity while latter being a necessity to keep oneself fit.
Technology has
given
people
wings
to
fly
but
along with that, it has made them lazy too. One such technological advancement is
television
. With
different
kind of contents
being lined
up on
television
series,
sports
is one such evergreen practice shown on
television
.
People
of all age groups
watch
sports
on
television
.
However
the ongoing craze of multiple
sports
draws on
television
has inspired the
young
generation to a great extent.

Now
the question arises, is this practice supposed to
be blamed
for the poor health of
young
generation!
 
The more they
watch
, the more they become addicted to it, whilst the evolution of
sport
on
television
was not meant to spoil brats. The motive to promote
sports
on
televisions
was to inspire the
young
generation to dig in their heels & to achieve success at a higher level. To
keep
people
updated of the latest achievements in
sports
activities
and to
instil
a feeling of
vigour
and enthusiasm in
people


Contradictory to this statement, is the fact that
now
the
young
generation takes watching
sports
on
television
as a leisure
activity
.
Instead
of inspiring, it has instilled a feeling of laziness among youth.
Now
the
young
one's
just
love
to have a gala time watching
sports
. They no more feel the need to go out and partake in physical
activities
which in turn has
affected
their health to
some
extent.

In my view, there is no harm in watching
sports
on
television
sometimes
.
But
if it exceeds the desired time limit then alarm
has to
be raised
. Along with that watching should not
be combined
with physical
activities
. Both relate to a
different
aspect, the former being a leisure
activity
while latter being a necessity to
keep
oneself fit.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Sport is one of the most popular draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sport on television is to blame for the poor health of the young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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