Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, the business of sports as a lucrative industry has been receiving a great deal of public attention. In my opinion, although this trend is not without disadvantages, it brings more benefits to be considered a positive development. On the one hand, there are a number of bad situations when the participation of companies and their sponsorship has made games become not transparent. To begin with, many sports companies might resort to sports fraud in order to obtain economic or political benefits. For example, a few clubs would put aside rules for sports leagues and competitions in favor of others. In addition, if clubs in the same association or league are deprived of the opportunity to compete, the competition principle could be infringed. Therefore, when sports and economy are tied one to another, it is difficult for audiences to have fair matches. On the other hand, despite negatively unexpected circumstances above, a whole host of advantages when sport is both a big-league driver and a job creator will justify those. Firstly, since contracts from different sports companies typically offer professional athletes with a guaranteed salary. In other words, this business gives the players some financial security even if they do not play in the unfavorable season. Secondly, by taking advantage of sports as a country’s economic sector, other sectors may be benefited. In particular, there will be more job opportunities in terms of tourism, services, and infrastructure development. In conclusion, sports with large sums of money would have some problems; however, they are beneficial for people and the country as a whole, which is more significant.
Nowadays, the business of
sports
as a lucrative industry has been receiving a great deal of public attention. In my opinion, although this trend is not without disadvantages, it brings more benefits to
be considered
a
positive
development.

On the one hand, there are a number of
bad
situations when the participation of
companies
and their sponsorship has made games become not transparent. To
begin
with,
many
sports
companies
might resort to
sports
fraud in order to obtain economic or political benefits.
For example
, a few clubs would put aside
rules
for
sports
leagues and competitions in favor of others.
In addition
, if clubs in the same association or league
are deprived
of the opportunity to compete, the competition principle could
be infringed
.
Therefore
, when
sports
and economy
are tied
one to another, it is difficult for audiences to have
fair
matches.

On the
other
hand, despite
negatively
unexpected circumstances above, a whole host of advantages when
sport
is both a
big
-league driver and a job creator will justify those.
Firstly
, since contracts from
different
sports
companies
typically
offer professional athletes with a guaranteed salary. In
other
words, this business gives the players
some
financial security even if they do not play in the unfavorable season.
Secondly
, by taking advantage of
sports
as a country’s economic sector,
other
sectors may
be benefited
.
In particular
, there will be more job opportunities in terms of tourism, services, and infrastructure development.

In conclusion
,
sports
with large sums of money would have
some
problems;
however
, they are beneficial for
people
and the country as a whole, which is more significant.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Sport is becoming a business with high income for professionals and more companies have involved in financial and in other ways. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts