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Speaking topic in text: TPO 01 - Question 3Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price fo v.1

Speaking topic in text: TPO 01 - Question 3Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price fo v. 1
It is true that in many countries a feature of modern life is that people tend to spend more time away from home. While some reasons can be identified to explain this trend, the effects on individuals and their families must be considered as largely negative. There are two very important factors that influence many people to be away from home for longer. Firstly, contemporary economic realities have transformed men’s working lives. One inevitable consequence of the new global economy is the disappearance of traditional ways of life, so that individuals now have to seek far and wide to find work to support their family or to improve their job prospects. Secondly, in the search for a better standard of living, women are abandoning traditional patterns of behaviour, so that dual-income families and working mothers are becoming the norm. The family in which the mother stayed at home to look after the children is incompatible with modern aspirations for a better lifestyle, which can only be achieved by working longer hours. Both factors have important consequences for individuals and their families. Men who move away to work in another city, or even another country, often become economic migrants, labouring for a minimum wage or being forced to accept conditions of sweated labour. Although they may work to send money home to their families, like many guest workers in the UK or Germany, the ties of kinship with their families are weakened. Women who go out to work full-time have less influence in shaping their children’s personality during a child’s formative years. As a result, children may develop behavioural problems in the future. In conclusion, some reasons for this trend can readily be identified, and the consequences are far-reaching for individuals and their families.
It is true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries a feature of modern life is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to spend more time away from home. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons can
be identified
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this trend, the effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.

There are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that influence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be away from home for longer.
Firstly
, contemporary economic realities have transformed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One inevitable consequence of the new global economy is the disappearance of traditional ways of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek far and wide to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their job prospects.
Secondly
, in the search for a better standard of living, women are abandoning traditional patterns of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that dual-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and working mothers are becoming the norm. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in which the mother stayed at home to look after the children is incompatible with modern aspirations for a better lifestyle, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
by working longer hours.

Both factors have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consequences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in another city, or even another country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become economic migrants,
Possible spelling mistake. 'labouring' is British English.
labouring
for a minimum wage or
being forced
to accept conditions of sweated
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. Although they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
money home to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
guest workers in the UK or Germany, the ties of kinship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are weakened
. Women who go out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
full-time have less influence in shaping their children’s personality during a child’s formative years.
As a result
, children may develop
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems in the future.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this trend can
readily
be identified
, and the consequences are far-reaching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Speaking topic in text: TPO 01 - Question 3Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price fo v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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