Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Task 3: Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price for campus housing and tuition by 15% v.1

Task 3: Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price for campus housing and tuition by 15% v. 1
Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others, however however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion It is claimed by an overwhelming majority of people that keeping animals in zoos is vicious. However. Others believe that zoos are the suitable house for protecting animals against natural threats. I am of the opinion that national parks are the best area for animals and it ensure that animals do not suffer from poor conditions. On the one hand, there are some prominent reasons why zoos can be seen as a proper area for animals. Firstly, animals which are kept in zoos have a higher quality of life than animals who are in the wild. This is mainly because animals in good zoos get a varied and high-quality diet with all the supplements required, and any illness that they might have will be treated. In addition, the average captive animals will have the greatest life expectancy compared with its wild counterpart. This is due the fact that they live in a safe environment and they do not suffer from the threat or stress of predators and also they will not die of drought or starvation. On the other hand. There are some animals which find it difficult to adapt themselves with the conditions at normal zoos. For example, this artificial habitat for elephant are almost always too small and the fences restrict their natural desire to follow specific migratory pattern. When an elephant is unable to accomplish instinctive tasks, it has an emotional reaction that is similar to what humans would experience in that situation. In conclusion, I suppose as national parks are not restricted in terms of zone and have the positive aspects of zoos as well, they are the best choice to keep animals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos are all cruel and should
be closed
down. Others,
however
however
, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Discuss both opinions and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion

It
is claimed
by an overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is vicious.
However
. Others believe that zoos are the suitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
against natural threats. I am of the opinion that national parks are the best area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and it
Did you mean "ensures"?
ensure
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do not suffer from poor conditions.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prominent reasons why zoos can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a proper area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos have a higher quality of life than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
who are in the wild. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a varied and high-quality diet with all the supplements required, and any illness that they might have will
be treated
.
In addition
, the average captive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will have the greatest life expectancy compared with its wild counterpart. This is due the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a safe
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they do not suffer from the threat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of predators and
also
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
of drought or starvation.

On the other hand
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which find it difficult to adapt themselves with the conditions at normal zoos.
For example
, this artificial habitat for elephant are almost always too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and the fences restrict their natural desire to follow specific migratory pattern. When an elephant is unable to accomplish instinctive tasks, it has an emotional reaction
that is
similar to what humans would experience in that situation.

In conclusion
, I suppose as national parks are not restricted in terms of zone and have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of zoos
as well
, they are the best choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Task 3: Letter in the Centerville College NewsThe administration has plans to acquire a new sculpture for campus. We should all oppose this plan. The university’s poor financial condition led it to increase the price for campus housing and tuition by 15% v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts