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Space travel has been possible for some time and space tourism will probably be developed in future. Do you think space tourism is a negative or positive development? v.2

Space travel has been possible for some time and space tourism will probably be developed in future. Do you think space tourism is a negative or positive development? v. 2
In recent years, space exploration has been a debatable issue among societies. Although some people believe that this industry could probably develop into tourism in the foreseeable future, I hold the view that it would introduce more drawbacks than benefits. On the positive side, building travel programs to outer space is advantageous to some extent. The first one is that this promising business would bring wealth to the economy which related to it. It is predictable that in order to wear the spacesuits and have a moonwalk in weightless condition would definitely cost a fortune. When travelling to the universe as a form of vacation is available, it would target at the high-end market and therefore, attract billionaires who are aspired and have desires of space trips. In addition to this, space travel would bring humans a step closer to the inhabitance on other planets in the cosmos. When this industry grows, scientists and business people would invest more effort and money into improving equipment and technologies that make living in space no longer a fiction. On the other side, although people have a preference for journeys to space, I am of the opinion that it would bring more harm than good. One is that aerospace voyages are risky. As there are many mysteries that the human beings are yet to discover about the galaxy. Therefore, the potential of fatal accidents that could cost lives and billions of dollars could happen. Another disadvantage is that the growing of this venture would definitely cause harmful effects for the environment. Undoubtedly, a large amount of emission would be released to the atmosphere when launching or testing aircrafts. These exhaust fumes would impair the environment seriously and thereby causing environment degradation. Overall, from my point of view, spending an immense amount of money on a purpose of entertainment or exploring the cosmos while on earth, there are still many people are living under the line of poverty is inadequate.
In recent years,
space
exploration has been a debatable issue among societies. Although
some
people
believe that this industry could
probably
develop into tourism in the foreseeable future, I hold the view that it would introduce more drawbacks than benefits.

On the
positive
side, building travel programs to outer
space
is advantageous to
some
extent. The
first
one is that this promising business would bring wealth to the economy which related to it. It is predictable that in order to wear the spacesuits and have a moonwalk in weightless condition would definitely cost a fortune. When travelling to the universe as a form of vacation is available, it would target at the high-
end
market and
therefore
, attract billionaires who
are aspired
and have desires of
space
trips.
In addition
to this,
space
travel would bring humans a step closer to the
inhabitance
on other planets in the cosmos. When this industry grows, scientists and business
people
would invest more effort and money into improving equipment and technologies that
make
living in
space
no longer a fiction.

On the other side, although
people
have a preference for journeys to
space
, I am of the opinion that it would bring more harm than
good
. One is that aerospace voyages are risky. As there are
many
mysteries that the human beings are
yet
to discover about the galaxy.
Therefore
, the potential of fatal accidents that could cost
lives
and billions of dollars could happen. Another disadvantage is that the growing of this venture would definitely cause harmful effects for the environment.
Undoubtedly
, a large amount of emission would
be released
to the atmosphere when launching or testing
aircrafts
. These exhaust fumes would impair the environment
seriously
and thereby causing environment degradation.

Overall
, from my point of view, spending an immense amount of money on a purpose of entertainment or exploring the cosmos while on earth, there are
still
many
people
are living under the line of poverty is inadequate.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Space travel has been possible for some time and space tourism will probably be developed in future. Do you think space tourism is a negative or positive development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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