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Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? v.2

Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? v. 2
It is generally claimed that space exploration is an expensive activity, reflecting directly to the taxpayer. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks that result from such a task. To begin with the positives, a crucial advantage that galaxy exploration has is that it can show the hegemony of a nation towards the others. Since it involves a huge amount of the country’s annual budget, being a well established agency that deals with it is a giant display that demonstrates how powerful is such a nation. For instance, during Cold War times, there was a competition between the United States and Russia concerning the development of technologies to explore the cosmos, which was responsible for the first time that a man stepped on the Moon. In addition, exploring the cosmos permit us to decipher the universe’s mysteries. This is important because knowing our origins may help us on how to act in the future. For example, it is crucial to explore other planets to look for other living creatures and if there is the possibility to migrate to another planet in case of a disaster happens on Earth. Nevertheless, travelling to the galaxy does present some disadvantages. Firstly, such an activity encumbers tax payers. The reason for this is that it is usually an expensive activity and it is often promoted by governments, therefore its finance comes from ordinary citizens. Thus, it is claimed that the money spent for it could be employed to improve basic public services, such as healthcare, raising, consequently, people’s satisfaction. Another drawback is unknown’s danger, especially to astronauts and related workers. This is because that there are many factors that may affect how a space mission will be or not successful. To illustrate, there were some disastrous mission in the United States National Space Agency (NASA) that, due to the spaceship explosion, many astronauts were cowardly killed. In conclusion, despite the advantages of demonstration of hegemony and deciphering the mysteries of the universe that space exploration can bring, the cons, such as costs and danger to related workers should also be taken into consideration.
It is
generally
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is an expensive activity, reflecting
directly
to the taxpayer. This essay will highlight both the benefits and drawbacks that result from such a task.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, a crucial advantage that galaxy exploration has is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the hegemony of a nation towards the others. Since it involves a huge amount of the country’s annual budget, being a well established agency that deals with it is a giant display that demonstrates how powerful is such a nation.
For instance
, during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cold
War times, there was a competition between the United States and Russia concerning the development of technologies to explore the cosmos, which was responsible for the
first
time that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
stepped on the Moon.
In addition
, exploring the cosmos permit us to decipher the universe’s mysteries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
knowing our origins may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us on how to act in the future.
For example
, it is crucial to explore other planets to look for other living creatures and if there is the possibility to migrate to another planet in case of a disaster happens on Earth.

Nevertheless
, travelling to the galaxy does present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
, such an activity encumbers tax payers.
The reason for this is
that it is
usually
an expensive activity and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
promoted by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
therefore
its finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from ordinary citizens.
Thus
, it
is claimed
that the money spent for it could
be employed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
basic public services, such as healthcare, raising,
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s satisfaction. Another drawback is unknown’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
,
especially
to astronauts and related workers. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that may affect how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
mission will be or not successful. To illustrate, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disastrous mission in the United States National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Space
Agency (NASA) that, due to the spaceship explosion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
astronauts were
cowardly
killed.

In conclusion
, despite the advantages of demonstration of hegemony and deciphering the mysteries of the universe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration can bring, the cons, such as costs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to related workers should
also
be taken
into consideration.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Space exploration costs tax payers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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