Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Sometimes people are rejecting a job opportunity due to their age or other circumstances. Is it a negative or a positive approach? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.1

Sometimes people are rejecting a job opportunity due to their age or other circumstances. Is it a negative or a positive approach? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1
The presence of the newspapers has been considered the most reliable news source for more than a centuries, but, in recent decades newer form of media supplanted their influence. Some feel that these new sources of news are better and easy to access. In my opinion, I agree with this notion and will discuss compelling reasons in this essay. On the other hand, newspapers still hold the most popular position among newsreaders even though we are living in a digital world. First, since newspapers existed long before the introduction of the internet, most senior citizens have developed a habit of reading a newspaper every day, and they do not want to change this habit. Secondly, newspapers are considered more reliable source nowadays. This is because newspapers are usually written by professional journalists, and are thoroughly checked, edited and censored prior to their publication. On the other hand, The Internet has become an increasing dominant news source these days due to the benefits it offers. First thing that attracts people to reading news online is its easy access. With the widespread presence of the internet, people with portable devices, such as a smartphone can access a tremendous storage of news in just a few clicks. This is primarily because younger people tend to read the news online and prefers not to pay for it, so those reading newspapers, the older generations, will gradually decline. This links in with the second reason, which is that as media companies start to see a drop in income from newspapers, printing them will become unprofitable and they will be forced to find ways to make money from news online. In conclusion, although newspapers remain popular today, they will gradually be replaced by the desire to read the news through electronic sources. This may be a sad loss given their history, but unfortunately it is an unavoidable development.
The presence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
has
been considered
the most reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
for more than
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a century" or simply "centuries"?
a centuries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, in recent decades newer form of media supplanted their influence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
feel that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are better and easy to access. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and will discuss compelling reasons in this essay.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
still
hold the most popular position among newsreaders
even though
we are living in a digital world.
First
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
existed long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the introduction of the internet, most senior citizens have developed a habit of reading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
every day, and they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this habit.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are considered
more reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
nowadays. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
usually
written by professional journalists, and are
thoroughly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
, edited and censored prior to their publication.

On the other hand
, The Internet has become an increasing dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
these days due to the benefits it offers.
First
thing that attracts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online is its easy access. With the widespread presence of the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with portable devices, such as a smartphone can access a tremendous storage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks. This is
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online and prefers not to pay for it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
those reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, the older generations, will
gradually
decline. This links in with the second reason, which is that as media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a drop in income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, printing them will become
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unprofitable and
they will
be forced
to find ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
remain popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, they will
gradually
be replaced
by the desire to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
through electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. This may be a sad loss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their history,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately it is an unavoidable development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Sometimes people are rejecting a job opportunity due to their age or other circumstances. Is it a negative or a positive approach? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts