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Some people feel that courses can make anyone a teacher, while others feel an excellent teacher cannot be made by pursuing a course. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people feel that courses can make anyone a teacher, while others feel an excellent teacher cannot be made by pursuing a course. v. 1
Nowadays, an increasing number of people prefer to purchase famous brand products which include not only daily necessities but also luxury goods. As we all know, famous brands are a symbol of wealth and social status. As far as I am concerned, it could bring both positive and negative consequences in equal measure. While, it is undeniable that the economic globalization as well as standard of living is increasing, this as deeply influenced consumers shopping concept. People want to show off their wealth purchasing a large number of famous brand products, thereby satisfying their vanity and the pursuit of the material goods. In addition, the effect of advertisements is another important factor making more people buy famous brand products. Many famous brand companies put a large sum of money put into advertisements with popular actor and singer in order to attract more customers, what is more, many fans would like to buy goods that their favourite idol recommended. Furthermore the quality of famous singer brand products is basically superior, a fact which cannot be neglected by customers. On the other, exorbitant brand products have brought adverse developments in our society. More seriously, teenagers tend to pursuit popular brand clothes causes discrimination among them. Consequently, many parents required to purchase their favour and deal with these issues. Moreover, this trend may result in the increasing of crime rate. Some robbers and kidnappers usually target people who are wealthy, especially those who wearing famous brands. The criminal are stimulated by the increasing use of famous brand because criminals believe these products worth much. In conclusion, the tendency of consuming goods from famous brands largely comes from people’s perception of personal belongings showing their wealth, social status and appearance. This trend can bring both positive and harmful effects on our social developments.
Nowadays, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which include not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
daily necessities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. As we all know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are a symbol of wealth and social status. As far as I
am concerned
, it could bring both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences in equal measure.

While, it is undeniable that the economic globalization
as well
as standard of living is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
, this as
deeply
influenced consumers shopping concept.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their wealth purchasing
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, thereby satisfying their vanity and the pursuit of the material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
In addition
, the effect of advertisements is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
put a large sum of money put into advertisements with popular actor and singer in order to attract more customers,
what is more
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fans would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
idol recommended.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
singer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
basically
superior, a fact which cannot
be neglected
by customers.

On the other, exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have brought adverse developments in our society. More
seriously
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to pursuit popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
clothes causes discrimination among them.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
and deal with these issues.
Moreover
, this trend may result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
of crime rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
robbers and kidnappers
usually
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are wealthy,
especially
those who wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. The criminal
are stimulated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
criminals believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
worth much.

In conclusion
, the tendency of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perception of personal belongings showing their wealth, social status and appearance. This trend can bring both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and harmful
The word 'effects' contains a ligature (joined letters). Modern English does not usually use ligatures. A ligature in a word causes a spelling error. If the word is an English word, write it with standard characters.
effects
on our social developments.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that courses can make anyone a teacher, while others feel an excellent teacher cannot be made by pursuing a course. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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