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Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time. v.5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time. v. 5
Some youngsters consider a gap year the key to enhancing their career prospects, others think it is a worthless pursuit. I believe that pursuing a gap-year can provide worthwhile experiences to juveniles, laying the seeds of a prosperous professional career. Although a gap-year is an exciting opportunity to undertake a self-development project, it is risky at the same time. On the one hand, youngsters can gain relevant work experiences, key skills; broadening their view of the world. Working during the defer years can increase invaluable knowledge. Furthermore, experiencing other countries can help gain an appreciation and awareness of global issues, putting people in the lead. Such knowledge is paramount to secure a dream job. On the other hand, it can cost an awful amount of money to organise and realise. To add to the ordeal, one can get bankrupt. One in ten people face financial ordeals from budget mismanagement according to gap-year tour operators, however, that number is negligible. Finally, in my opinion, hefty expenses should be the least cause for deterring a gap-year. The return on investment is high, bringing positive drastic changes to the personality of the youngster. Travelling to other countries solidifies young adults with soft, and hard skills; moulding character and individuality. Facing and circumventing adversity in an unfamiliar country sets a solid foundation for solving problems in life. Such experience is worth the expense. In conclusion, there is definitely an edge some young person can attain contrasting to those who consider gap-years an expensive waste of time. However, improper planning can adversely affect personal finances; accurate gap-year budget plans eliminates the risk of debt and bankruptcy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
youngsters consider a gap year the key to enhancing their career prospects, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a worthless pursuit. I believe that pursuing a gap-year can provide worthwhile experiences to juveniles, laying the seeds of a prosperous professional career. Although a gap-year is an exciting opportunity to undertake a self-development project, it is risky at the same time.

On the one hand, youngsters can gain relevant work experiences, key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
; broadening their view of the world. Working during
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'defer' is correct. If 'defer' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the defer
years can increase invaluable knowledge.
Furthermore
, experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
gain an appreciation and awareness of global issues, putting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the lead. Such knowledge is paramount to secure a dream job.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it can cost an awful amount of money to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the ordeal, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bankrupt. One in ten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face financial ordeals from budget mismanagement according to gap-year tour operators,
however
, that number is negligible.

Finally
, in my opinion, hefty expenses should be the least cause for deterring a gap-year. The return on investment is high, bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the personality of the youngster. Travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries solidifies young adults with soft, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
;
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
character and individuality. Facing and circumventing adversity in an unfamiliar country sets a solid foundation for solving problems in life. Such experience is worth the expense.

In conclusion
, there is definitely an edge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
young person can attain contrasting to those who consider gap-years an expensive waste of time.
However
, improper planning can
adversely
affect personal finances; accurate gap-year budget plans eliminates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of debt and bankruptcy.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others, this is an expensive waste of time. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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