Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. v. 2
There are different views about a long term trip to experience word after high school. Some young students believe that travelling abroad for one year would open their minds and improves their practical knowledge, On the other side, some believe spend a year during the most active and energetic times of youth in travelling is not acceptable and does not make any sense. In my opinion a gap year travelling should be taken before students will involve in true life, this could help them to choose suitable university subjects or apply proper jobs wisely. It is nice if the test of experience applied, graduated at high school generally means you have learned some theoretical courses and it is hard to use them in the real word, being far from family and facing other cultures is a very good way to gain new skills or knowledge, but a year should be planned carefully to avoid any waste of time and money. It should be mentioned, perhaps there is no second chance to enjoy a year travel in whole life so it is worth it to try. However, many students returning from a break in academic study find it very difficult to adjust to university activities and may end their study because of enjoying their daily life, or waste their gap year in worthless activities. Gap-year students are a year behind their highschoolschool friends and have forgotten many of the lessons learned in school. There are also many high school students who start a gap-year with good intentions, but fail to a worthwhile activity and end up wasting their time. In conclusion, I believe that a gap year travelling could be measured as second part of high school education, which provides students with a different kind of learning to open their minds for future planning based on real knowledge so the benefits of gap years in outweigh the problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about a long term trip to experience word after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad for one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
would open their minds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their practical knowledge, On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
during the most active and energetic times of youth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is not acceptable and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense. In my opinion a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
should
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will involve in true life, this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to choose suitable university subjects or apply proper jobs
wisely
.

It is nice if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of experience applied,
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
generally
means you have learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
theoretical courses and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in the real word, being far from family and facing other cultures is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
should
be planned
carefully
to avoid any waste of time and money. It should
be mentioned
, perhaps there is no second chance to enjoy a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
travel in whole life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is worth it to try.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
returning from a break in academic study find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to adjust to university activities and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of enjoying their daily life, or waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in worthless activities. Gap-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
behind their
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschoolschool
friends and have forgotten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the lessons learned in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a gap-year with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
intentions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fail to a worthwhile activity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting their time.

In conclusion
, I believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
could
be measured
as second part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education, which provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of learning to open their minds for future planning based on real knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
years in outweigh the problems.

Discuss both these views and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts