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Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this problem? v.1

Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this problem? v. 1
Nowadays, people argue that there is a general rise in crime rates and disrespectful behaviour towards the other members of the society. This essay will discuss the primary reasons for this problem including unemployment, growing poverty and the influence of media. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including increase employment opportunities, reducing poverty and censorship of undesirable content from the media. Firstly, despite economic growth of the nation, there is widespread unemployment and growing poverty which led to increasing criminal activities and unruly behaviour of the citizens. To be precise, when young people did not get their aspired and desired job and suffering from poverty they get frustrated and indulge in such crimes, and they throw out their frustration by misbehaving with their fellow citizens. For instance, research suggested that incidence of criminal activities are more from educated, unemployed youths. The ultimate solution is that the government should make all possible ways to increase employment, to reduce poverty by providing adequate support to poorer sections of the society to pull them to the upper level. These steps surely help to build the better community. Secondly, the influence of the media made the situation worse. To make it clear, nowadays most of the movies have extreme violence and sexual content which wrongfully influence the youths who often try to imitate the same. Inaddition, easy access to these contents in smartphones through the internet also the cause. For example, recently in Bangalore, one teenager mimic the villain role of one movie and end up in prison. This problem can be addressed effectively by strict censorship of the unwanted material in the media. Besides, the government should also ban several bad websites on the internet. These measures will help to alleviate the problem. In conclusion, antisocial and disrespectful behaviour prevalent in many societies. This essay discussed how the antisocial behaviour caused by unemployment, poverty, and led by the media. This essay also suggested that the solutions to this problems are by increasing employment, reducing poverty and by enforcing strict censorship.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that there is a general rise in crime rates and disrespectful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards the other members of the society. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the primary reasons for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
including unemployment, growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including increase employment opportunities, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and censorship of undesirable content from the media.

Firstly
, despite economic growth of the nation, there is widespread unemployment and growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
which led to increasing criminal activities and
unruly
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the citizens. To be precise, when young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their aspired and desired job and suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated and indulge in such crimes, and they throw out their frustration by misbehaving with their fellow citizens.
For instance
, research suggested that incidence of criminal activities are more from educated, unemployed youths. The ultimate solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all possible ways to increase employment, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
by providing adequate support to poorer sections of the society to pull them to the upper level. These steps
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build the better community.

Secondly
, the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
made the situation worse. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, nowadays most of the movies have extreme violence and sexual content which
wrongfully
influence the youths who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to imitate the same.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inaddition
, easy access to these contents in smartphones through the internet
also
the cause.
For example
, recently in Bangalore, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
mimic the villain role of one movie and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in prison. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be addressed
effectively
by strict censorship of the unwanted material in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
ban several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
websites on the internet. These measures will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to alleviate the problem.

In conclusion
, antisocial and disrespectful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
prevalent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how the antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
caused by unemployment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, and led by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested that the solutions to
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are by increasing employment, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and by enforcing strict censorship.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this? How to improve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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