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Some young people find school difficult and leave early without any qualifications. What causes this problem and what measures could help reduce it? v.1

Some young people find school difficult and leave early without any qualifications. What causes this problem and what measures could help reduce it? v. 1
Nowadays the majority of people have access to education, but for various reasons, some students decide to quit school as early as possible. As a result, it can cause plenty of problems in the future, such as unemployment, social exclusion or even poverty. It is therefore important to implement comprehensive strategies to prevent early school leaving. There are many reasons why some young people give up education. Firstly, they have tremendous struggles with learning, thus they cannot get positive grades and even fail classes. For example, children who find it hard to learn the alphabet or basic mathematics at the beginning of their education, usually have to face huge obstacles later. In this case, a lack of fundamental knowledge causes that youngers do not want to continue education because it is too hard for them, they just give up. Another reason is a living situation which sometimes forces adolescents to leave school in order to make money needed to live or take care of someone. Early parenthood is a case in point. The young mother does not have another choice than quitting school if she wants to raise her child and does not have anyone to help. In such a situation, also a young father sometimes is made to start working instead of continuing his school. As we can see, usually those who leave school early do not do his because they want to, but they do not see a better option. While earning a school diploma is essential to a stable future, actions should be taken to prevent youngers from dropping out of school. Since plenty of students leave school due to bad results, it makes sense for parents and teachers to give them additional opportunities to improve their results, such as extra classes, motivational system, voluntary for better students who want to help their peers. By these actions, young people will have a chance to learn individually according to their own abilities. Also, help for young parents should be guaranteed. It could be financial help, but also access to a distance learning or home education. Thanks to this, youngers would have an opportunity to mix education with taking care of their families. In conclusion, some young people leave school early because of many factors such as learning difficulties or living situation. However, it is crucial to help them by extra courses, financial help or providing access to distance learning.
Nowadays the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for various reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students decide to quit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
as possible.
As a result
, it can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems in the future, such as unemployment, social exclusion or even poverty. It is
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to implement comprehensive strategies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leaving
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, they have tremendous struggles with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
thus
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
grades and even fail classes.
For example
, children who find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to learn the alphabet or basic mathematics at the beginning of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face huge obstacles later.
In this case
, a lack of fundamental knowledge causes that
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
give up. Another reason is a living situation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forces adolescents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
or take care of someone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Early
parenthood is a case in point. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
mother does not have another choice than quitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
if she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to raise her child and does not have anyone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. In such a situation,
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
is made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working
instead
of continuing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
usually
those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
do not do his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a better option.

While earning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
diploma is essential to a stable future, actions should
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
from dropping out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
results, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense for parents and teachers to give them additional opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their results, such as extra classes, motivational system, voluntary for better students who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their peers. By these actions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a chance to learn
individually
according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
parents should
be guaranteed
. It could be financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
access to a distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
or home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Thanks to this,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
would have an opportunity to mix
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with taking care of their families.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
difficulties or living situation.
However
, it is crucial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them by extra courses, financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
or providing access to distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people find school difficult and leave early without any qualifications. What causes this problem and what measures could help reduce it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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