Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v.4

Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4
In the 18th century, when the industrial revolution occurred, there were huge immigration waves from rural areas to big cities, where factories were constructed. Nowadays, this trend still remains, with more and more youngsters moving away from their small towns. But, a plethora of problems is created due to this act. How can we resolve them? In this essay I will discuss the consequences and solutions to this. Firstly, younger people are those that withhold our economy, which means, that in the countryside this balance will be broken. The circulation of money will be limited and not all businesses will be able to survive. To illustrate a study was conducted in a span of 10 years in Greece, that has shown that, in small towns and villages more than 40% of local business were forced to close, due to difficulties. Regarding the possible solutions, secondly, the government has to act in order to keep people in these areas. Moreover, offering higher paying jobs for individuals of younger age, which is essential for them to sustain themselves. Also, in order for them to be entertained and happy, more facilities, like football pitches and lobbies for community clubs would be required. For example, the university of Cambridge surveyed 18-year old teens, in a village in northern England, and found out that 82% of them were not satisfied with the facilities offered. In conclusion, adolescents moving away from their hometowns, has only a negative effect on their community. But, if the government takes this matter in its hand, and applies these solutions, we will be a step closer to a balanced society.
In the 18th century, when the industrial revolution occurred, there were huge immigration waves from rural areas to
big
cities, where factories
were constructed
. Nowadays, this trend
still
remains, with more and more youngsters moving away from their
small
towns.
But
, a plethora of problems
is created
due to this act. How can we resolve them? In this essay I will discuss the consequences and solutions to this.

Firstly
, younger
people
are those that withhold our economy, which means, that in the countryside this balance will
be broken
. The circulation of money will
be limited
and not all businesses will be able to survive. To illustrate a study
was conducted
in a span of 10 years in Greece, that has shown that, in
small
towns and villages more than 40% of local business
were forced
to close, due to difficulties.

Regarding the possible solutions,
secondly
, the
government
has to
act in order to
keep
people
in these areas.
Moreover
, offering higher paying jobs for individuals of younger age, which is essential for them to sustain themselves.
Also
, in order for them to
be entertained
and happy, more facilities, like football pitches and lobbies for community clubs would
be required
.
For example
, the
university of Cambridge
surveyed 18-year
old
teens, in a village in northern England, and found out that 82% of them were not satisfied with the facilities offered.

In conclusion
, adolescents moving away from their hometowns, has
only
a
negative
effect on their community.
But
, if the
government
takes this matter in its hand, and applies these solutions, we will be a step closer to a balanced society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts