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Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v.1

Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
Migration from rural areas to cities has become more prevalent due to the availability of better universities and job opportunities there. While some people argue that the disadvantages of this phenomenon outweigh the merits, I believe that this development is beneficial in many ways. There are two main reasons which urge people to leave their rural villages and towns and move to the cities. The first reason is that most of the universities are located in the cities and these universities attract the ambitious students who want to earn higher degrees. The second reason is that the job market in the cities is more active and therefore, it is much easier for professionals to find jobs there compared to the rural areas where the economic activities are limited. There is no doubt that there are several disadvantages to this migration such as the exponential population growth in the cities which hits the cities’ infrastructure severely and also this migration leaves the rural areas abandoned and demotes some necessary professions such as farming. But, on the other hand, moving to cities has two major merits for the individuals and nations also have immensely benefited from this phenomenon. The major advantage gained is the remarkable increase in the numbers of the university graduates which ultimately increases the society’s education level. The second merit is that cities allow more people to have better jobs and enhance their financial conditions. In conclusion, most of the people in rural areas tend to move to big cities for reasons related to their career and their education. Although there are some disadvantages to this issue, we cannot deny that the individuals and society are benefiting much from this phenomenon. Sharing is caring!
Migration from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has become more prevalent due to the availability of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities there. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the disadvantages of this phenomenon outweigh the merits, I believe that this development is beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

There are two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which urge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
villages and towns and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are located
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
attract the ambitious students who want to earn higher degrees. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is more active and
therefore
, it is much easier for professionals to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
there compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where the economic activities
are limited
.

There is no doubt that there are several disadvantages to this migration such as the exponential population growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which hits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
infrastructure
severely
and
also
this migration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
abandoned and demotes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary professions such as farming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
on the other hand
, moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has two major merits for the individuals and nations
also
have
immensely
benefited from this phenomenon.

The major advantage gained is the remarkable increase in the numbers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates which
ultimately
increases the society’s education level. The second merit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and enhance their financial conditions.

In conclusion
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
related to their career and their education. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to this issue, we cannot deny that the individuals and society are benefiting much from this phenomenon.

Sharing is caring!
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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