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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Most of the individuals thinks that salary is the most convenient thing when they find a job, on the other hand others gave a thought that there are many other things which are more important than the salry. This essay agrees that salary is way more necessary than other things. Possible reasins will be discussed in the essay. The first major reason is that money is the most important thing in the modern era. Nowadays, in the world money is beyond everything. If you have good wealth and properties you will earn the most respect and if your are not much rich you will not treated nice in the society. For example, my uncle who was not much wealthy was always degraded in the family but now when he have become a successful person everyone respects him the most. The second main reason is the increasing prices of everything. If we talk about the old age you did not have to be rich enough to be able to buy everything but nowadays everything is so expensive that a simple person could not afford everything. So everyone's main focus is on the earning which they make from their jobs. To sum up, the two main reasons are that money is the most important thing and everything is expensive nowadays.
Most of the individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that salary is the most convenient thing when they find a job, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand others gave a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
salry
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that salary is way more necessary than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. Possible
Possible spelling mistake found.
reasins
will
be discussed
in the essay. The
first
major reason is that money is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the modern era. Nowadays, in the world money is beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
. If you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wealth and properties you will earn the most respect and if
Did you mean “you are”, “yours are” or “your”?
your are
not much rich you will not
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
treated
nice in the society.
For example
, my uncle who was not much wealthy was always degraded in the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
when he
The pronoun ‘he’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “has”, “had”.
have
become a successful person everyone respects him the most. The second main reason is the increasing prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
. If we talk about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age you did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive that a simple person could not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everyone's main focus is on the earning which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from their jobs. To sum up, the two main reasons are that money is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
is expensive nowadays.
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As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay when choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration for many. Others however, prefer different other aspects of a job over the salary they earn. In your opinion what are the most important apects of a job?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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