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many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.2

many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2
Nowadays, global warming and other environmental problems have been discussed seriously. Some countries already developed their strategies to deal with the climate change, but some countries are still using fossil fuels such as coal and oil as the main sources of energy. In this essay I will give my opinion about the usage of renewable energy and is it a positive or negative development. First of all, I would like to praise the countries that start to switch from using fossil fuels into alternative sources of power such as wind, solar and water energy. The countries that use the substitute sources show a positive development of their own countries. This is because it reflects that their population start to think about the negative impacts that arise from the usage of coal and oil. Global warming must be mentioned here as it is one of the negative impacts causes by using fossil fuel. An example of the countries that have been using solar energy is France. The country has used it as a main source, which accounted around 90% of the major energy. Secondly, as the government encourages people to become greener. It will not only create a constructive outcome in the environment, but it also motivates other countries to follow their strategies. Moreover, people will find the countries nicer and that would attract people to come and travel to the countries, which I think it will also boost the economy as well. However, the negative impacts can also occur because some groups of people might use this opportunity to exploit on the resources or equipments that are needed to be replaced the old sources. Nonetheless, it is better for countries to take a deep consideration into the green energy as it is better compared to the non-renewable energy. To conclude, using green energy can potentially shows that the countries have a positive development. Also, it shows the kind attitude of people towards the natural resources and environment. However, they have to be aware that some people might try to exploit on the resources.
Nowadays, global warming and other environmental problems have
been discussed
seriously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
already developed their strategies to deal with the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
using fossil fuels such as coal and oil as the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. In this essay I will give my opinion about the usage of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and is it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to praise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to switch from using fossil fuels into alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of power such as wind, solar and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the substitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it reflects that their population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts that arise from the usage of coal and oil. Global warming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be mentioned
here as it is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts causes by using fossil fuel. An example of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have been using solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is France. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it as a main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
, which accounted around 90% of the major energy.

Secondly
, as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become greener. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create a constructive outcome in the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
motivates other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to follow their strategies.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
nicer and that would attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and travel to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will
also
boost the economy
as well
.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts can
also
occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this opportunity to exploit on the resources or equipments that
are needed
to
be replaced
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
. Nonetheless, it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to take a deep consideration into the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
as it is better compared to the non-renewable energy.

To conclude
, using green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can
potentially
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "show"
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the kind attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the natural resources and environment.
However
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might try to exploit on the resources.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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