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Some university classes only meet one day a week for a long period of time. Other university classes meet several days a week for shorter periods of time. Which do you think is better? Explain why. v.1

Some university classes only meet one day a week for a long period of time. Other university classes meet several days a week for shorter periods of time. Which do you think is better? Explain why. v. 1
The consumption of natural resources such as oil and gas is escalating immensely. Therefore, I completely agree with the fact that the efforts should be made in the mining of other useful reservoirs to; reduce global warming, and benefit the country’s growth. Firstly, the intensive use of oil and gas increasing the effects of greenhouse gases. These fossil fuels in the form of vapors and smoke are spreading in the environment, and consequently, increasing atmospheric temperature to an alarming extent by depleting the ozone layer. Hence, there arises a huge need for other alternative reservoirs to protect the surroundings. To illustrate, a survey conducted by U. S Environmental Department depicts 75% thinning of ozone, which is adversely affecting the climatic condition. In addition, exploration of more fossil fuels would be beneficial in the economic growth of a country. A nation’s trade business can be extended by exporting more natural supplies to other countries, thus rising up the financial status. It is obvious from the fact that 50% revenue of Iran is generated by the supply of oil to other regions across the globe. Hence, discovering more reservoirs would be advantageous in the economic progress, and would ultimately benefit the country too, as individuals would have access to more variety of resources for their survival. To conclude, the excessive usage of oil and gas is the major cause of their demolishing from earth. Therefore, the geologist must work in the mining of other sources in order to maintain the stable climatic condition, and financial growth of a country.
The consumption of natural resources such as
oil
and gas is escalating
immensely
.
Therefore
, I completely
agree with the fact that
the efforts should
be made
in the mining of
other
useful reservoirs to;
reduce
global warming, and benefit the
country’s
growth.

Firstly
, the intensive
use
of
oil
and gas increasing the effects of greenhouse gases. These fossil fuels in the form of vapors and smoke are spreading in the environment, and
consequently
, increasing atmospheric temperature to an alarming extent by depleting the ozone layer.
Hence
, there arises a huge need for
other
alternative reservoirs to protect the surroundings. To illustrate, a survey conducted by U. S Environmental Department depicts 75% thinning of ozone, which is
adversely
affecting the climatic condition.

In addition
, exploration of more fossil fuels would be beneficial in the economic growth of a
country
. A nation’s trade business can
be extended
by exporting more natural supplies to
other
countries
,
thus
rising up the financial status. It is obvious from the fact that 50% revenue of Iran
is generated
by the supply of
oil
to
other
regions across the globe.
Hence
, discovering more reservoirs would be advantageous in the economic progress, and would
ultimately
benefit the
country
too, as individuals would have access to more variety of resources for their survival.

To conclude
, the excessive usage of
oil
and gas is the major cause of their demolishing from earth.
Therefore
, the geologist
must
work in the mining of
other
sources in order to maintain the stable climatic condition, and financial growth of a
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some university classes only meet one day a week for a long period of time. Other university classes meet several days a week for shorter periods of time. Which do you think is better? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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