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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. v.21

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. v. 21
Online education is a comparatively new trend and thousands of educational institutes have already embraced this method to offer their courses. While some negative aspects of this development could not be ignored, the advantages of it far outweigh the demerits. To begin with, many universities in developed countries offer online degrees and short courses and they have started doing so only after proper research. The research proved that the Internet based courses are advantageous both for the students and teachers. The intuitive and methodical lessons offered by an online course is planned by several university teachers and technology experts and hence they maintain a rigid quality. The widespread use of the Internet makes it handy for people to enrol in a course without considering time and distance. This trend has attracted thousands of professionals, housewives and elderly people to continue their education or take courses according to their interests. For instance, as many as twenty-five thousand housewives in the USA complete their preferred online courses and diplomas in a year. Attending traditional classroom based courses were impossible for these large number of housewives and busy professionals. Moreover, Internet based courses are easier to follow and someone can retake the same lessons over and over again, unlike traditional classes. Thus many students have reported the Khan Academy, Linda, and Udemy, renowned Internet-based online course websites, to be their preferred learning tool. Many skill-developing online courses have assisted thousands of young people to pursue their career in technology and this has all been possible with the Internet based learning. The downside of this trend is the cost and lack of proper supervision by a teacher. Courses offered by prestigious universities are often far too expensive for a poor student to bear. Teachers' guidance and motivation often play a great role in a pupil's success and the online course cannot be a suitable substitute for the motivation teachers can offer. To conclude, technological advancements in education, especially the online education, is a great leap towards the world without illiteracy and unemployment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
comparatively
new trend and thousands of educational institutes have already embraced this method to offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this development could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, the advantages of it far outweigh the demerits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
degrees and short
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
courses and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after proper research. The research proved that the Internet based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are advantageous both for the students and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. The intuitive and methodical lessons offered by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is planned
by several university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and technology experts and
hence
they maintain a rigid quality.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it handy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enrol in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
without considering time and distance. This trend has attracted thousands of professionals, housewives and elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
according to their interests.
For instance
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as twenty-five thousand housewives in the USA complete their preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and diplomas in a year. Attending traditional classroom based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
were impossible for these large number of housewives and busy professionals.

Moreover
, Internet based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are easier to follow and someone can retake the same lessons over and over again, unlike traditional classes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students have reported the Khan Academy, Linda, and Udemy, renowned Internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
websites, to be their preferred learning tool.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
have assisted thousands of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to pursue their career in technology and this has all been possible with the Internet based learning.

The downside of this trend is the cost and lack of proper supervision by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Courses
offered by prestigious universities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
far too expensive for a poor student to bear. Teachers' guidance and motivation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play a great role in a pupil's success and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
cannot be a suitable substitute for the motivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can offer.

To conclude
, technological advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, is a great leap towards the world without illiteracy and unemployment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. v. 21

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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