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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? v.13

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 13
The process of acquiring knowledge over the internet is known as online study. Therefore, I strongly agree that the benefits of online study are more significant than its drawbacks. (48) We had seen in the past that people always moved to big cities for getting higher education. In many parts of the world, people even had to travel long distances in order to enrol themselves in their desired courses. (50) Presently, the trend of online study is spreading all over the world as it is providing a number of benefits to students. For example, it allows students to enrol themselves in short courses and get certifications. In addition, students are facilitated to check course contents and their prices along with course duration. Moreover, getting education on the Internet helps people in saving their valuable time. Thus, online study is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their daily work as it doesn't require them to go any institution. (91) The recent development in Information Technology has now enabled the students to study many courses online just with a single click of the mouse. The goods they bought have surely delivered at their homes as soon as possible. Thus, if the popularity of online shopping keeps in motion then it will surely emerge as the most reliable way of purchasing goods in the near future. (63) Thus, I strongly believed that online shopping is one of the great innovations of people doing transaction as it reduces time and provides more options. (24)
The process of acquiring knowledge over the internet
is known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are more significant than its drawbacks. (48)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities for getting higher education. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even had to travel long distances in order to enrol themselves in their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. (50)

Presently
, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is spreading all over the world as it is providing a number of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enrol themselves in short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
certifications.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are facilitated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
contents and their prices along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
duration.
Moreover
, getting education on the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in saving their valuable time.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a wise choice for those who are much busy in their daily work as it doesn't require them to go any institution. (91)

The recent development in Information Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
enabled the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with a single click of the mouse. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
have
surely
delivered at their homes as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Thus
, if the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
in motion then it will
surely
emerge as the most reliable way of purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the near future. (63)

Thus
, I
strongly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is one of the great innovations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing transaction as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
time and provides more options. (24)
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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