Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.21

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 21
A transportation system is a mean by which material objects (animals, humans, and goods) are moved from one place to another. I am totally agreed that more finance should be consumed on railways as compared to other public transports. (39) In ancient times, people had used animals like horses and camels for travelling and even for transporting goods. They had neither reliable nor efficient means of transportation like railways and road transports until the invention of the wheel in the 19th century. (42) Presently, wide range of public transport including road vehicles, railways and aeroplanes is used in almost all the parts of the world. Among these, the railway is considered the most reliable source. This is because of the several facts like trains are always on time. They are free from traffic jams and carry a large number of people and goods. While, the money spent on improving existing public transports like vans and buses is although beneficial for both passengers and the environment. However, it creates some major problems like traffic jams, road accidents and environmental issues in all the big cities. (101) The recent addition of bullet trains and underground train facility in railways has made it the most popular mode of travelling in developing countries. It has now become the need of the hour to invest more in railways. If the popularity of railway keeps on increasing then railway will certainly become the fastest way of transportation in the near future. (60) Thus, I strongly believed that railway networks must be upgraded and new tracks should be added rather than investing again and again on existing public transports. (26)
A transportation system is a mean by which material objects (animals, humans, and
goods
) are
moved
from one place to another. I am
totally
agreed
that more finance should
be consumed
on
railways
as compared to other
public
transports
. (39)

In ancient times,
people
had
used
animals like horses and camels for travelling and even for transporting
goods
. They had neither reliable nor efficient means of transportation like
railways
and road
transports
until the invention of the wheel in the 19th century. (42)

Presently
, wide range of
public
transport
including road vehicles,
railways
and
aeroplanes
is
used
in almost all the parts of the world. Among these, the
railway
is considered
the most reliable source. This is
because
of the several facts like trains are always on time. They are free from traffic jams and carry
a large number of
people
and
goods
. While, the money spent on improving existing
public
transports
like vans and buses is although beneficial for both passengers and the environment.
However
, it creates
some
major problems like traffic jams, road accidents and environmental issues in all the
big
cities. (101)

The recent addition of bullet trains and underground train facility in
railways
has made it the most popular mode of travelling in
developing countries
. It has
now
become the need of the hour to invest more in
railways
. If the popularity of
railway
keeps
on increasing then
railway
will
certainly
become the fastest way of transportation in the near future. (60)

Thus
, I
strongly
believed that
railway
networks
must
be upgraded
and new
tracks
should be
added
rather
than investing again and again on existing
public
transports
. (26)
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 21

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts