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Some universities are small and have only a couple of thousand students on campus. Other universities are very large and have many thousands of students enrolled. Which kind of university do you prefer? v.1

Some universities are small and have only a couple of thousand students on campus. Other universities are very large and have many thousands of students enrolled. Which kind of university do you prefer? v. 1
There are so many classifications in jobs depending upon the education and experience. Mainly blue collar jobs preferred to manual the workforce and white collar jobs referred to educated people. This essay stated that both of these classification should get equal salary. I totally disagreed with this statement, because there is a wide range of difference between the physical workers and the educated people. Firstly, the people who have a high level degree will be paid more than physical workforce. Because they studied for so many years to achieve their degree and lost their valuable time without spending for their needs. For instance, I studied my graduation in a hostel for four years and I am unable to take part in so many family functions due to my studies. Secondly, when the manual workforce got equally paid, then there will be no importance of education. Because the graduated or post graduated people thought that without being educated, got high salaries in the works. Thus, the literacy rate of the country will decrease. Furthermore, the people who have higher degrees in particular subjects can lead the company and the labour would build the structures. For example, in a multinational construction company the project engineer who have a high degree in their department will be executed the project and the technicians will build the project. In conclusion, I believe that the educated people with high qualification should pay more salary than the manual workforce. Because the educated people have more dignity in society due to their effort in completing the course in higher mark.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
classifications in jobs depending upon the education and experience.
Mainly
blue collar jobs preferred to manual the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
and white collar jobs referred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay stated that both of
Did you mean "this classification" or "these classifications"?
these classification
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equal salary. I
totally
disagreed with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a wide range of difference between the physical workers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
will
be paid
more than physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they studied for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to achieve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and lost their valuable time without spending for their needs.
For instance
, I studied my graduation in a hostel for four
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
I am unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
family functions due to my studies.

Secondly
, when the manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
equally
paid, then there will be no importance of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the graduated or post graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that without being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries in the works.
Thus
, the literacy rate of the country will decrease.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
in particular
subjects can lead the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
would build the structures.
For example
, in a multinational construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
the project engineer who have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in their department will
be executed
the project and the technicians will build the project.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
qualification should pay more salary than the manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more dignity in society due to their effort in completing the course in higher mark.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some universities are small and have only a couple of thousand students on campus. Other universities are very large and have many thousands of students enrolled. Which kind of university do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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