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some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell to what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell v. 1
One of the responsibilities of a manager is to continuously motivate his employees to increase their performance. Although, it is believed that the most effective way to boost hired people energy is paying them depending on the level of the productions and sales. However, I strongly disagree with the mentioned opinion and I do not think that it will be effective in encouraging workers to do their best. The performance in numerous cases cannot be qualified in term of selling and outcome. A dentist’s job, for example is to do oral examination of the patients, assess the level of caries and restore teeth. None of which involves producing or selling goods. In this case, it is the satisfaction of his patients with regard of his skills such as infection control or using high quality materials will decide how successful the dentist has been. Furthermore, the abilities of many workers are greatly affected by external factors that is beyond their control, economy, state, unexpected political development and extreme weather condition can all have significant impact on how much an employee can produce or sell. Too much snowing in winter, for example, might prevent workers from going to their jobs without them being responsible for that. Thus basing on wages for sale and production rate will actively draw their interest toward the situation. In conclusion, though on of the ways that bosses do trend their hired skills is to provide them salaries regarding to the rate of sales and productions. Even, I think such decision is impossible and unfair in most cases, instead they should find a more diverse set of performance_indicators including customer satisfaction and punctuality.
One of the responsibilities of a manager is to
continuously
motivate his employees to increase their performance. Although, it
is believed
that the most effective way to boost hired
people
energy is paying them depending on the level of the productions and sales.
However
, I
strongly
disagree with the mentioned opinion and I do not
think
that it will be effective in encouraging workers to do their best.

The performance in numerous cases cannot
be qualified
in term of selling and outcome. A dentist’s job,
for example
is to do oral examination of the patients, assess the level of caries and restore teeth.

None of which involves producing or selling
goods
.
In this case
, it is the satisfaction of his patients with regard of his
skills
such as infection control or using high quality materials will decide how successful the dentist has been.

Furthermore
, the abilities of
many
workers are
greatly
affected
by external factors
that is
beyond their control, economy, state, unexpected political development and extreme weather condition can all have significant impact on how much an employee can produce or sell. Too much snowing in winter,
for example
, might
prevent
workers from going to their jobs without them being responsible for that.
Thus
basing on wages for sale and production rate will
actively
draw their interest toward the situation.

In conclusion
, though on of the ways that bosses do trend their hired
skills
is to provide them salaries
regarding to
the rate of sales and productions.

Even, I
think
such decision is impossible and unfair
in most cases
,
instead
they should find a more diverse set of
performance_indicators
including customer satisfaction and punctuality.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay some think the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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