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Some people think that libraries are a waste of resource and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resource and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. v. 1
The existence of the libraries in this world dates back to late 1200 AD. While some people believe that libraries can now be replaced by computers and digital aids because they require money and other resources to run, others believe that libraries should still exist. This essay will review both sides and elucidate why libraries should be upgraded by the state of the art technologies. Firstly, the libraries requires huge space, staff and utilities for their proper operation. The number of visitors is getting less every day, which has minimized their revenue generated. Secondly, people find it difficult to access books at libraries, as more convenient options are available. For instance, the introduction of e-libraries have minimized the need to access the physical libraries as people find it easier to search and read the required book on their digital devices for a very minimal fee. It is therefore believed that physical libraries should be made non-existent and computers must be used instead. Libraries have remained the source of knowledge and wisdom for centuries. They not only provide access to the books, but also the environment and space to fulfil the need of the readers. Many people find it difficult to read books at home using the internet because they don’t get a suitable atmosphere. A recent survey conducted by a British newspaper agency revealed that 64% of the people in the United Kingdom believe that they have lost their interest in reading books as they don’t get the proper library environment because the libraries are becoming extinct. I emphasize that existing libraries should be upgraded with digital aids and computers so that people not only get to read the physical books, but can also have access to the gadgets which make reading easier. This essay discussed both views and provided an opinion to modernize the libraries with digital aids so that needs of the people who need a library environment and who find it easier reading books on a computer can be satisfied.
The existence of the libraries in this world dates back to late 1200 AD. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that libraries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be replaced
by computers and digital aids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they require money and other resources to run, others believe that libraries should
still
exist. This essay will review both sides and elucidate why libraries should
be upgraded
by the
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
technologies.

Firstly
, the libraries requires huge space, staff and utilities for their proper operation. The number of visitors is getting less every day, which has minimized their revenue generated.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at libraries, as more convenient options are available.
For instance
, the introduction of e-libraries have minimized the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
the physical libraries as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it easier to search and read the required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
on their digital devices for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minimal fee. It is
therefore
believed that physical libraries should
be made
non-existent and computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
.

Libraries have remained the source of knowledge and wisdom for centuries. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the environment and space to fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of the readers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it difficult to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
at home using the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a suitable atmosphere. A recent survey conducted by a British newspaper agency revealed that 64% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the United Kingdom believe that they have lost their interest in reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper library environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the libraries are becoming extinct.

I emphasize that existing libraries should
be upgraded
with digital aids and computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to read the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the gadgets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
reading easier.

This essay discussed both views and provided an opinion to modernize the libraries with digital aids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a library environment and who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it easier reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on a computer can
be satisfied
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that libraries are a waste of resource and money so computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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