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Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals 2
Nowadays, in every country, zoos are known to protect animals from the hunter. However, some people argued for closing the zoo due to the violence against animals. This essay will discuss whether the zoo is a trusted or a torture place and state my opinion. On the one hand, sufficient food supplies and safety are the primary reasons why the zoo is the best place for animals. In the forest, animals forage carelessly. Therefore they can easily trap and catch by a poacher. In contrast, animals will be freed from the hunter in the zoo because the security at the zoo is stringent. The government enjoins the guards to feed the animals with a nutritious meal. Thus, the animal’s life is guaranteed. On the other hand, persecution against animals is not impossible to occur. In some countries, when the attendant is lazy, they will not feed the animals and let them suffer. Furthermore, the zoo’s finances are very crucial because if the fee is not enough, there will be no food, and they will lend some of their animals to the circus contest to get some money. Visitors sometimes carelessly feed the animals. For instance, in Indonesia, there was an accident that a visitor gives the monkey some fireworks to eat. Eventually, the monkey got injured and made the habitats defective. In conclusion, although the zoo is a place to keep animals from the poachers, carelessness from zookeepers will let to calamity for animals. In my opinion, the animal’s sufficient place is a zoo because there is no threat to frighten the fauna.
Nowadays, in every country, zoos
are known
to protect
animals
from the hunter.
However
,
some
people
argued for closing the zoo due to the violence against
animals
. This essay will discuss whether the zoo is a trusted or a torture
place
and state my opinion.

On the one hand, sufficient food supplies and safety are the primary reasons why the zoo is the best
place
for
animals
. In the forest,
animals
forage
carelessly
.
Therefore
they can
easily
trap and catch by a poacher.
In contrast
,
animals
will
be freed
from the hunter in the zoo
because
the security at the zoo is stringent. The
government
enjoins the guards to feed the
animals
with a nutritious meal.
Thus
, the
animal’s
life
is guaranteed
.

On the other hand
, persecution against
animals
is not impossible to occur. In
some
countries, when the attendant is lazy, they will not feed the
animals
and
let
them suffer.
Furthermore
, the zoo’s finances are
very
crucial
because
if the fee is not
enough
, there will be no food, and they will lend
some
of their
animals
to the circus contest to
get
some
money. Visitors
sometimes
carelessly
feed the
animals
.
For instance
, in Indonesia, there was an accident that a visitor gives the monkey
some
fireworks to eat.
Eventually
, the monkey
got
injured and made the habitats defective.

In conclusion
, although the zoo is a
place
to
keep
animals
from the poachers, carelessness from zookeepers will
let
to calamity for
animals
. In my opinion, the
animal’s
sufficient
place
is a zoo
because
there is no threat to frighten the fauna.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed. However, some people think zoo can help protect animals 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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