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Economic progress is one way to measure a country's success. Some people believe that there are other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What are the other factors? Do you think there is a factor that is more important than the others? v.6

Economic progress is one way to measure a country's success. Some people believe that there are other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What are the other factors? Do you think there is a factor that is more important than the others? v. 6
There are a variety of perspectives about which are the crucial factors that can be used to reflect the prosperous nation. While I would agree that economic progress is a useful method to assess a country, I contend that there are several factors that can evaluate a nation’s success and education systems, to a certain extent, is the most important factor. Education systems and crime rates should be considered as the key factors in determining a prosperous country. Firstly, a good education system included schools, colleges and universities has an important role to play in educating latent talents and bearing a large number of labours for nations. Secondly, crime rate should also be taken into account as the main contributor that has positive effects on the country’s success. In other words, the average crime rate indicates the adequacy of the citizen. If a country has a high crime rate, it means that innumerable citizens are living in poverty and the measures should be taken to alleviate and improve the people’s living standard. In my opinion, a country’s education system should be seen as the most important indicator of its prosperity and level of development. The reason for this is education has an enormous impact on both economy and crime rates. People living in a good educational environment are not only taught common knowledge but also have better consciousness about moral principles. For example, those who are well educated have a rise in cognitive development which helps them know what is the right things to do and also seeking for a job that can help them cover the cost of living. In conclusion, there are several factors that can be used to assess a country’s success, but I would contend that education plays an important role in the prosperity of a nation.
There are a variety of
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
which are the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to reflect the prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. While I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that economic progress is a useful method to assess a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I contend that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can evaluate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
success and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, to a certain extent, is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor.

Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
should
be considered
as the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
in determining a prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
included schools, colleges and universities has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role to play in educating latent talents and bearing
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
should
also
be taken
into account as the main contributor that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
success.
In other words
, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
indicates the adequacy of the citizen. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, it means that innumerable citizens are living in poverty and the measures should
be taken
to alleviate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s living standard.

In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
indicator of its prosperity and level of development.
The reason for this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has an enormous impact on both economy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
living in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational environment are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taught common knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have better consciousness about moral principles.
For example
, those who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
have a rise in cognitive development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them know what is the right things to do and
also
seeking for a job that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them cover the cost of living.

In conclusion
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to assess a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in the prosperity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Economic progress is one way to measure a country's success. Some people believe that there are other factors should be considered when measuring the success of a country. What are the other factors? Do you think there is a factor that is more important than the others? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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