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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v.6

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6
Nowadays, the era of globalization facilitates student exchange programs between nations across the globe. While it is believed that teenagers can reap great benefits, I advocate that drawbacks, these programs bring to students also need to be paid attention to. Student exchange programs have some positive effects on teenage school students. The first advantage is that they accelerate the well-rounded development of students’ skill. This is because students have to solve problems they face and shoulder all responsibilities such as household chores or financial balance without the assistance of families, which means that they need to possess practical skills consisting of problem-solving skill and personal finance management skills. Other than that, studying abroad provides them with more chances to gain profound knowledge of cultural diversity and cultivate language skills. The reason is that living in other countries means that dealing with people of different cultural background is inevitable. On the other hand, there are some issues which can be attributed to student exchange programs. First of all, students are prone to mental illness. It is undeniable that culture shocking, homesick, race discrimination and lack of support from other family members are some issues almost all exchange students can be faced with; therefore, if students are not equipped necessary skills and knowledge with a view to adopting life in other countries, they may be suffering from some mental problems such and autism and depression and grow up with low self-esteem. Moreover, the cost of exchange problems has a tendency to be really high, which put a greater financial burden on students’ families, particularly middle-income and low-income families. All in all, although student exchange programs help teenagers master practical skills, they also can be considered as a culprit behind mental and financial problems.
Nowadays, the era of globalization facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
between nations across the globe. While it
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can reap great benefits, I advocate that drawbacks, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
need to
be paid
attention to.

Student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on teenage school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
first
advantage is that they accelerate the well-rounded development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
they face and shoulder all responsibilities such as household chores or financial balance without the assistance of families, which means that they need to possess practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
consisting of problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and personal finance management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
than that, studying abroad provides them with more chances to gain profound knowledge of cultural diversity and cultivate language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The reason is that living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries means that dealing with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural background is inevitable.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues which can
be attributed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are prone to mental illness. It is undeniable that culture shocking, homesick, race discrimination and lack of support from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
family members are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
be faced
with;
therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not equipped necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and knowledge with a view to adopting life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries, they may be suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such and autism and depression and grow up with low self-esteem.
Moreover
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
has a tendency to be
really
high, which put a greater financial burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
families,
particularly
middle-income and low-income families.

All in all, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
master practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they
also
can
be considered
as a culprit behind mental and financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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