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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v.3

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3
It is believed by some teachers that all teenage school students would benefit a great deal from foreign exchange programmes. Despite some drawbacks of this idea, I think that the benefits are more significant. On the one hand, there are a number of major disadvantages when teenage students decide to engage in international exchange projects. The first drawback is culture shock. Exchange students might be faced with unfamiliar customs and different beliefs, which could easily lead to misunderstanding, tension and conflicts. It may be difficult for them to concentrate entirely on their studies when they are struggling to adapt to the new culture. Another disadvantage is that many students are unable to followtheir international learning programmes, leading to undesirable academic outcomes. Some of my friends, for example, have to re-sit the exams or have difficulties catching up with their lectures due to poor language skills. In my opinion, however, the benefits that such programmes bring to students are far more significant than the drawbacks. Firstly, exchange students are given the opportunity to meet different people from all over the world and learn a range of skills that they might not have a chance to learn if studying in their home country. For instance, they can develop their social skills by sharing their experiences with other exchange students and get a deeper insight into the culture by immersing themselves in the local community. Another benefit is that living in a different country helps exchange students become more independent. This is because without daily support from their parents, these students have to learn to cook, clean, manage their budgets and make their own decisions. In conclusion, althought exchange students might have difficulties in adapting to the new culture and following international school curriculums, I believe that the benefits of international exchange programmes do outweigh those drawbacks.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teachers that all teenage school
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students
would
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benefit
a great deal from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
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programmes
. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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drawbacks
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
are more significant.

On the one hand, there are a number of major disadvantages when teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
decide to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
projects. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawback
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
be faced
with unfamiliar customs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs, which could
easily
lead to misunderstanding, tension and conflicts. It may be difficult for them to concentrate
entirely
on their studies when they are struggling to adapt to the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Another disadvantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are unable to
Possible spelling mistake found.
followtheir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, leading to undesirable academic outcomes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of my friends,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
re-sit the exams or have difficulties catching up with their lectures due to poor language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In my opinion,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
that such
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are far more significant than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the world and learn a range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they might not have a chance to learn if studying in their home country.
For instance
, they can develop their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by sharing their experiences with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deeper insight into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
by immersing themselves in the local community. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more independent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without daily support from their parents, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to cook, clean, manage their budgets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

In conclusion
,
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althought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might have difficulties in adapting to the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
school curriculums, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
do outweigh those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawbacks
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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