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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
Some would argue that exchange program benefit to all adolescent students. While, there is a possibility of student misbehavior due to freedom away from home. However, I believe that student’s get an opportunity to explore a new culture, learn new things about life and develop as a person. These opportunities outweigh the drawback. When students are away from home, they often badly behaved, get into trouble with teachers and guardians because students are not under the supervision of their parents and this newly found freedom can lead to delinquency. For example, when I was in France at the age of 16, I was not with my family. I along with my friends drink alcohol for the first time. However, this does not mean that exchange program is not worthy, but it is better for all the student comes under strict supervision during the program. Attending program in a new country given an opportunity for students to get to know about new cultures, embrace the new tradition and a way of life of a new place through the students they live with. Exploring the new culture and tradition open eyes of any person and exploring a new dimension of life and perspective about life. For example, when I was studying my MBA in India, one of my friends told me to explore the Hindu spiritual path. I visited Himalayas to follow spiritual path with the help of meditation and yoga, this experience helped me completely and I discovered myself, which changed my whole priorities of life. In conclusion, this program gives an opportunity to students to explore new cultures and embrace a new idea of life by meeting new people, all these opportunities outweigh the drawback of misbehaviour, while studying in a foreign country.
Some
would argue that exchange
program
benefit to all adolescent
students
.
While
, there is a possibility of
student
misbehavior due to freedom away from home.
However
, I believe that
student’s
get
an
opportunity
to explore a
new
culture
, learn
new
things about
life
and develop as a person. These
opportunities
outweigh the drawback.

When
students
are away from home, they
often
badly
behaved,
get
into trouble with teachers and guardians
because
students
are not under the supervision of their parents and this
newly
found freedom can lead to delinquency.
For example
, when I was in France at the age of 16, I was not with my family. I along with my friends drink alcohol for the
first
time.
However
, this does not mean that exchange
program
is not worthy,
but
it is better for all the
student
comes
under strict supervision during the program.

Attending
program
in a
new
country
given
an
opportunity
for
students
to
get
to know about
new
cultures
, embrace the
new
tradition and a way of
life
of a
new
place through the
students
they
live
with. Exploring the
new
culture
and tradition open eyes of any person and exploring a
new
dimension of
life
and perspective about
life
.
For example
, when I was studying my MBA in India, one of my friends
told
me to explore the Hindu spiritual path. I visited Himalayas to follow spiritual path with the
help
of meditation and yoga, this experience
helped
me completely and I discovered myself, which
changed
my whole priorities of life.

In conclusion
, this
program
gives an
opportunity
to
students
to explore
new
cultures
and embrace a
new
idea
of
life
by meeting
new
people
, all these
opportunities
outweigh the drawback of
misbehaviour
, while studying in a foreign country.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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