Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
Some would argue that exchange program benefit to all adolescent students. While, there is a possibility of student misbehavior due to freedom away from home. However, I believe that student’s get an opportunity to explore a new culture, learn new things about life and develop as a person. These opportunities outweigh the drawback. When students are away from home, they often badly behaved, get into trouble with teachers and guardians because students are not under the supervision of their parents and this newly found freedom can lead to delinquency. For example, when I was in France at the age of 16, I was not with my family. I along with my friends drink alcohol for the first time. However, this does not mean that exchange program is not worthy, but it is better for all the student comes under strict supervision during the program. Attending program in a new country given an opportunity for students to get to know about new cultures, embrace the new tradition and a way of life of a new place through the students they live with. Exploring the new culture and tradition open eyes of any person and exploring a new dimension of life and perspective about life. For example, when I was studying my MBA in India, one of my friends told me to explore the Hindu spiritual path. I visited Himalayas to follow spiritual path with the help of meditation and yoga, this experience helped me completely and I discovered myself, which changed my whole priorities of life. In conclusion, this program gives an opportunity to students to explore new cultures and embrace a new idea of life by meeting new people, all these opportunities outweigh the drawback of misbehaviour, while studying in a foreign country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
benefit to all adolescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, there is a possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
misbehavior due to freedom away from home.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to explore a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and develop as a person. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
outweigh the drawback.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are away from home, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
badly
behaved,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble with teachers and guardians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not under the supervision of their parents and this
newly
found freedom can lead to delinquency.
For example
, when I was in France at the age of 16, I was not with my family. I along with my friends drink alcohol for the
first
time.
However
, this does not mean that exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
is not worthy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is better for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
under strict supervision during the program.

Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, embrace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tradition and a way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with. Exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition open eyes of any person and exploring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
dimension of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and perspective about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, when I was studying my MBA in India, one of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me to explore the Hindu spiritual path. I visited Himalayas to follow spiritual path with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of meditation and yoga, this experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me completely and I discovered myself, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my whole priorities of life.

In conclusion
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
gives an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and embrace a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
outweigh the drawback of
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
, while studying in a foreign country.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts