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Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you agree? v.2

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you agree? v. 2
Education has open many ways for children. Some teachers argue that international exchange programs have the significant advantage while some claim that there are some drawbacks of further abroad studies. However, I will form an opinion via elaborating my views. On one hand, an exchange program internationally has disadvantageous for pupils. For example, children are not able to connect with others frequently because of the communication gaps and this approach might end up with low grades in the curriculum. In addition, the language barrier is a pioneer aspect in adolescent’s further studies after that, students studying abroad might suffer from homesickness. Also besides, students don't get the proper food same as home. For instance, if one goes for further studies other provincial student does not interact with him often. They converse seldomly and these are the causes in the international exchange programs. On the other hand, these are some advantageous characteristics of the international exchange programs also. Firstly, a foreign exchange study might be arduous for teenagers, but, arduous situation can form a potent individual to be liable in any circumstances. These abroad programs aidable for enhancing adolescent ability and they can see a different behaviour in teenagers within a period of time. Students become self-determinant to choose a favourable goal and diligent to struggle in any consequences. Secondly, pupils can learn the different culture’s tradition. An individual can meet students of diverse regions from all over the world and learn the cultural variety. To summarize, foreign exchange might be hard for some students but, I agree that, it’s undeniable that these programs are very beneficial and lucrative approach to attend.
Education has open
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways for children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
teachers argue that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
have the significant advantage while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
further
abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
However
, I will form an opinion via elaborating my views.

On one hand, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
internationally
has disadvantageous for pupils.
For example
, children are not able to connect with others
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the communication gaps and this approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with low grades in the curriculum.
In addition
, the language barrier is a pioneer aspect in adolescent’s
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
suffer from homesickness.
Also
besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper food same as home.
For instance
, if one goes for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
other provincial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not interact with him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. They converse
Possible spelling mistake found.
seldomly
and these are the causes in the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
programs.

On the other hand
, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantageous characteristics of the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
also
.
Firstly
, a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be arduous for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, arduous situation can form a potent individual to be liable in any circumstances. These abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
Possible spelling mistake found.
aidable
for enhancing adolescent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ability and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
within a period of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
become self-determinant to choose a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
goal and diligent to struggle in any consequences.
Secondly
, pupils can learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture’s tradition. An individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of diverse regions from all over the world and learn the cultural variety.

To summarize
, foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, it’s undeniable that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial and lucrative approach to attend.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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