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Some students would like to have a long vacation during the academic year. Other students would like to have several shorter vacations during the academic year. What is your preference and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

Some students would like to have a long vacation during the academic year. Other students would like to have several shorter vacations during the academic year. What is your preference and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, with rapid circulation of information, there are numerous ways people could acquire knowledge. In this essay, the difference between knowledge learned from experience and acquired from books will be thoroughly compared to analyze of the following aspects: practicality and varieties. First of all, when it comes to practicality, apparently, the knowledge gained from books differs from obtained from experience. To be more specific, books offer theoretical knowledge, however, the experience that we gained is from putting those theories into practice to harvest the benefits. Take the doctors for example. The curriculums of medical students involve anatomy, physiology, pathology and so on. There is no denying that books are the most systematic way to build the concepts by providing the subject in detail. However, the most important thing, for the doctors, is how to apply such knowledge to clinical conditions. Clinical situations faced by them could be totally different from what they had learned from a book. Besides, every patient’s condition would not be identical. That is to say, it is the personal experience not the dogmatic textbooks that qualify them to face a whole new situation. What’s more, varieties are another point which should be taken into account. There are a variety of books published every day, ranging from arts to science. Nonetheless, how much information can we absorb from them? It is no denying that people tend to accept the information which is closely related to their working field although they are exposed to a deluge of knowledge from books. In other words, books are the fine platforms for providing diverse ideas. But the things we learn in real-life could get straight to the point what we concerned with. In conclusion, knowledge obtained from both books and experience plays an indispensable role in information acquisition. However, considering the practicality and varieties, I suppose that knowledge learned from experience is crucial and should be valued more.
Nowadays, with rapid circulation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, there are numerous ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. In this essay, the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
learned from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and acquired from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will be
thoroughly
compared to analyze of the following aspects: practicality and varieties.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to practicality,
apparently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
differs from obtained from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
offer theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that we gained is from putting those theories into practice to harvest the benefits. Take the doctors
for example
. The curriculums of medical students involve anatomy, physiology, pathology and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the most systematic way to build the concepts by providing the subject in detail.
However
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing, for the doctors, is how to apply such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to clinical conditions. Clinical situations faced by them could be
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what they had learned from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Besides
, every patient’s condition would not be identical.
That is
to say, it is the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
not the dogmatic textbooks that qualify them to face a whole new situation.

What’s more, varieties are another point which should
be taken
into account. There are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
published every day, ranging from arts to science. Nonetheless, how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can we absorb from them? It is no denying that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which is
closely
related to their working field although they
are exposed
to a deluge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the fine platforms for providing diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the things we learn in real-life could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
straight to the point what we concerned with.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
obtained from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
plays an indispensable role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
acquisition.
However
, considering the practicality and varieties, I suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
learned from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is crucial and should
be valued
more.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some students would like to have a long vacation during the academic year. Other students would like to have several shorter vacations during the academic year. What is your preference and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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