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Should cities and states ban certain sorts of fats used for cooking in restaurants in an effort to improve people’s health? Explain your answer. v.1

Should cities and states ban certain sorts of fats used for cooking in restaurants in an effort to improve people’s health? Explain your answer. v. 1
History, Science and Technology both subjects are very important. There is an argument between the two groups of people. A few numbers of people claim that History is a very important subject and other community believes that in 21th century, Science and Technology is more significant subject than History. In my opinion, every subject is very important to us. People need to know the history and also need to learn Science and Technology to keep pace with the world. In History, people know about much information. Firstly, they are known about any country’s history, culture, religion and much more information which are already happening in the past. For example, Bangladesh is a democratic country. It has a great history. Bangladesh won the Liberation war of 1971. 26th march is the independence day of Bangladesh. Before the liberation war, Bangladesh was a part of Pakistan. That time Bangladesh name was East Pakistan. We know this information by reading History book and we also know about the culture, religion and many more messages about Bangladesh. So, History subject is very important to us to know about the past. On the other hand, now a day’s Science and Technology is more advanced. People are maintaining international relationships by using technology. Every moment, peoples are creating lots of important things by the method of science and using of technology. To give an instance, most of the people are using Facebook in recent time. Facebook is a modern technology. People can easily communicate with other peoples via Facebook. So, some people claim that science and technology is very important in today’s world. In conclusion, every peoples need for knowledge about all subjects. These both subjects are equally important for every person. I think, the subject of History helps us to know the past and Science and Technology subject help us to know about the recent world. So, every citizen should have knowledge on both subjects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. There is an argument between the two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A few numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and other community believes that in
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
. In my opinion, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
also
need to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the world.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about much information.
Firstly
, they
are known
about any country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, culture, religion and much more information which are already happening in the past.
For example
, Bangladesh is a democratic country. It has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Bangladesh won the Liberation war of 1971. 26th march is the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
of Bangladesh.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the liberation war, Bangladesh was a part of Pakistan. That time Bangladesh name was East Pakistan. We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
this information by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
book and
we
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the culture, religion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more messages about Bangladesh.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the past.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is more advanced.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are maintaining international relationships by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Every moment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are creating lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things by the method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. To give an instance, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using Facebook in recent time. Facebook is a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
via Facebook.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.

In conclusion
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "people"?
peoples
need for knowledge about all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. These both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for every person. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the recent world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, every citizen should have knowledge on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Should cities and states ban certain sorts of fats used for cooking in restaurants in an effort to improve people’s health? Explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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