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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.8

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 8
Some people presume that the tourists from oversea ought to be charged much more than the local ones when visiting cultural and historical destinations. From my point of view, I completely agree with this. First and foremost, local residents should have some privileges when they visit prominent sites because these heritages belong to their ancients and the descendants are encouraged to go there to learn. It comes as no shock that paying less money will foster the number of native visitors come to such places; as a result, those people are going to have considerable opportunities to broaden their knowledge. In comparison with international visitors, appearance of native ones in such attractions is more necessary, therefore the fee for the latter is likely to be lower than the former. For example, the museums in my country opened for free to the citizens while it costs the foreign visitors to go inside. Moreover, it is equal for foreign tourists to pay more than local ones because those people do not pay taxes to protect the sites which the residents living nearby must do. If authorities accelerate the fee for international visitors, they will have a massive budget that could be utilized to preserve and innovate the important attractions. Last but not least, foreign tourists are more potential clients than local ones as they are willing to pay a high fee during their trips. Increasing the payment for services to foreign visitors is deemed practical method for the people living in the vicinity of the destinations to earn money. In conclusion, I believe that it is reasonable for the international tourists to pay more than the local ones for prominent attractions.
Some
people
presume that the
tourists
from oversea ought to
be charged
much more than the
local
ones
when visiting cultural and historical destinations. From my point of view, I completely
agree
with this.

First
and foremost,
local
residents should have
some
privileges when they visit prominent sites
because
these heritages belong to their ancients and the descendants
are encouraged
to go there to learn. It
comes
as no shock that paying less money will foster the number of native
visitors
come
to such places;
as a result
, those
people
are going to have considerable opportunities to broaden their knowledge.
In comparison
with international
visitors
, appearance of native
ones
in such attractions is more necessary,
therefore
the fee for the latter is likely to be lower than the former.
For example
, the museums in my country opened for free to the citizens while it costs the
foreign
visitors
to go inside.

Moreover
, it is equal for
foreign
tourists
to
pay
more than
local
ones
because
those
people
do not
pay
taxes to protect the sites which the residents living nearby
must
do. If authorities accelerate the fee for international
visitors
, they will have a massive budget that could
be utilized
to preserve and innovate the
important
attractions. Last
but
not least,
foreign
tourists
are more potential clients than
local
ones
as they are willing to
pay
a high fee during their trips. Increasing the payment for services to
foreign
visitors
is deemed
practical method for the
people
living in the vicinity of the destinations to earn money.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is reasonable for the international
tourists
to
pay
more than the
local
ones
for prominent attractions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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