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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.2

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Some scholars have to make money when obtaining a degree that has several consequences: students do not have enough time for studying and feel stressful. In this essay I am going to describe the main causes of this problem and possible solutions. There are two main following causes: some students do not have needed funds for studying and they want to develop practical skills. As long as some gifted people could come from poor families, they will try to earn money to pay for the education they desire to achieve. For example, in the history of humanity, there are some celebrities who came from a poor background and achieved prosperity by working while studying as it was with Milla Jovovich. Another reason why people want to work is related to the necessity of special qualities for future occupation. Therefore, working as an assistant near experts can help to develop the important features in future employees. For instance, some universities employ medical students in some scientific projects which help followers to apply theory in practice. To solve this problem could be proposed two specific recommendations. The first solution to this problem is part-time employment that occupies a little time of the student so that their can fill they spare time by studying. The second solution is online types of works which definitely will save precious time of the learners as well as their money. In conclusion, lack of money and practical skills push students to work during studying. However, it is possible to minimize the negative effects of this problem by giving them part-time or online kinds of jobs.
Some
scholars
have to
make
money when obtaining a degree that has several consequences:
students
do not have
enough
time
for
studying
and feel stressful. In this essay I am going to
describe
the main causes of this
problem
and possible solutions.

There are two main following causes:
some
students
do not have needed funds for
studying and
they want to develop practical
skills
. As long as
some
gifted
people
could
come
from poor families, they will try to earn money to pay for the education they desire to achieve.
For example
, in the history of humanity, there are
some
celebrities who came from a poor background and achieved prosperity by working while
studying
as it was with
Milla
Jovovich
. Another reason why
people
want to work
is related
to the necessity of special qualities for future occupation.
Therefore
, working as an assistant near experts can
help
to develop the
important
features in future employees.
For instance
,
some
universities employ medical
students
in
some
scientific projects which
help
followers to apply theory in practice.

To solve this
problem
could
be proposed
two specific recommendations. The
first
solution to this
problem
is part-time employment that occupies a
little
time
of the
student
so
that their can fill they spare
time
by
studying
. The second solution is online types of works which definitely will save precious
time
of the learners
as well
as their money.

In conclusion
, lack of money and practical
skills
push
students
to work during
studying
.
However
, it is possible to minimize the
negative
effects of this
problem
by giving them part-time or online kinds of jobs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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