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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words v.19

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 19
Nowadays, some people argue that work and study at the same time can result overwhelming for the students, obstructing their time for education. In this essay I will explore some of the problems associated with this and suggest some solutions. Firstly, one problem with this issue is that some families don't have the resources necessary to provide help for their children and pay their studies. As a result, they're obligated to work an amount of hours to pay their studies. A solution for that is the support from the government. However, not always is possible to have this support, therefore, the students they are obligated to work. On the other hand, study and work can be possible if the student knows how to combine these two. For instance, if their studies suppose a lot of hours of concentration and dedication, the student can always talk with the school and extend their course. In other words, expanding the time of their studies, they can work and do their homework as a result being less stressful for them. To sum up, study and work can be difficult. Despite the problem of the money, if they need help always can have access to possible help thanks to the government or if they can't forward this help always they have the possibility to talk with the school to extend their program of studies and have the possibility to work at the same time.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can result overwhelming for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, obstructing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for education. In this essay I will explore
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problems associated with this and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Firstly
, one problem with this issue is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families don't have the resources necessary to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for their children and pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
As a result
, they're obligated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
an amount of hours to pay their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. A solution for
that is
the support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
However
, not
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
always is
possible to have this support,
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
they
are obligated
to work.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be possible if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
knows how to combine these two.
For instance
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
suppose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
hours of concentration and dedication, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can always talk with the school and extend their course.
In other words
, expanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and do their homework
as a result
being less stressful for them.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be difficult. Despite the problem of the money, if they need
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'help'.
help always
can have access to possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or if they can't forward this
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'help'.
help always
they have the possibility to talk with the school to extend their program of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and have the possibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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