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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty Therefore developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty Therefore developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that the trend among people move from one nation to other countries with their for high income sources nowadays. Some people assert that the moving with family is a good option, whereas others think that it will create a trouble for children along with parents. In my opinion, migrate to another place with children is good option but up-to some extent. In this essay, I intend to discuss both sides before reasonable conclusion can be drawn. There are several benefits, why it is a great opportunity for teenagers. Firstly, the teens who come from other areas have a bright future with international study, moreover they can interact with different cultures of people and it is very easy to develop their mind as well as become more creative. Furthermore, During The adolescent age, it is very accessible to mix with the country’s tradition. According to the survey conducted by the Canadian government found that the children who immigrate during 5 to10 years, they have better knowledge than other international students. On the contrary side, There is no doubt that the youngster who moved in early age, they found difficulties to conversation in public due to the language problem and feel atrocious in the society. Therefore, sometimes child become more depressive and try to make isolate from the community. For those children, there are lots of English speaking school are available in The Canada, which they tend to help how to speak the foreign language. To put in a nutshell, I pen down and saying that the mob who shift to the other kingdom for the bright future, either it is for their family or himself. But, the first few years everyone has to tackle to adjust everything.
It is an irrefutable fact that the trend among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one nation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries with their for high income sources nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that the moving with family is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will create a trouble for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
along with parents. In my opinion, migrate to another place with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
up-to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. In this essay, I intend to discuss both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reasonable conclusion can
be drawn
.

There are several benefits, why it is a great opportunity for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Firstly
, the teens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas have a bright future with international study,
moreover
they can interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to develop their mind
as well
as become more creative.
Furthermore
, During The adolescent age, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accessible to mix with the country’s tradition. According to the survey conducted by the Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
immigrate during 5 to10 years, they have better knowledge than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
international students.

On the contrary
side, There is no doubt that the youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
in early age, they found difficulties to conversation in public due to the language problem and feel atrocious in the society.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
child become more depressive and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
isolate from the community. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are lots of
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
school are available in The Canada, which they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
how to speak the foreign language.

To put in a nutshell, I pen down and saying that the mob
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
shift to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kingdom for the bright future, either it is for their family or himself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
first
few years everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
tackle to adjust everything.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty Therefore developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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