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Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which method do you prefer or why? Give detais and examples in your explanation. v.4

Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which method do you prefer or why? Give detais and examples in your explanation. v. 4
Music is connecting people all over the world, from different tradition and cultural backgrounds, irrespective of their age groups, everyone is contributing their unique flavour and taste to the music and sharing it around the globe. I believe that music has become a source of harmony among nations and with the advent of the Internet and information technology, it has become much easier to share the heritage of the music of one region with another along with the elimination of the language barrier as music is not dependent on any language. Music is bringing together traditions because it is not only introducing the new music genre to the people, but also making people aware of the history and cultural background connected with that particular music. For instance, certain festivals and occasions are associated with specific cultural songs and as information technology has made the world a global village, it has made an easy access of different nations to the music of various traditions and cultures and hence, bringing them together. Now, the music artists, unlike the past, have their fan following all around the globe. Music is also connecting people from different age groups. For example, many musicians are making remixes of old songs with new instruments. This on the one hand is keeping the interest of the younger generations, but, on the other hand, it is also stirring up the elders. Furthermore, all of these instruments don't require any language to express them. People from different backgrounds, irrespective of their age or language can enjoy them. In conclusion, music is the best representation of any society and its culture. Sharing music among people from different backgrounds and age class, is not only bridging gaps among them, but also providing awareness of different traditions. I hold this opinion that music is an art and therefore, art cannot be bounded by boundaries, regions, cultures and certain age groups. It is destined to bring people together and thus, harmony among them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
and cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
, irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups, everyone is contributing their unique
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
and taste to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and sharing it around the globe. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has become a source of harmony among nations and with the advent of the Internet and information technology, it has become much easier to share the heritage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of one region with another along with the elimination of the language barrier as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not dependent on any language.

Music is bringing together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
introducing the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the history and cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
connected with that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
, certain festivals and occasions
are associated
with specific cultural songs and as information technology has made the world a global village, it has made
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and cultures and
hence
, bringing them together.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
artists, unlike the past, have their fan following all around the globe.

Music is
also
connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
musicians are making remixes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
songs with new instruments. This on the one hand is keeping the interest of the younger generations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
on the other hand
, it is
also
stirring up the elders.
Furthermore
, all of these instruments don't require any language to express them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
, irrespective of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
or language can enjoy them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the best representation of any society and its culture. Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bridging gaps among them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
providing awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
. I hold this opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an art and
therefore
, art cannot
be bounded
by boundaries, regions, cultures and certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. It
is destined
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together and
thus
, harmony among them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which method do you prefer or why? Give detais and examples in your explanation. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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