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Some People Believe That Competitive Sports, Both Team and Individual, Have No Place in the School Curriculum. How Far Do You Agree or Disagree? Give Reason for Your Answer and Include Any Relevant Examples from Your Own Knowledge or Experience. v.3

Some People Believe That Competitive Sports, Both Team and Individual, Have No Place in the School Curriculum. How Far Give Reason for Your Answer and Include Any Relevant Examples from Your Own Knowledge or Experience. v. 3
Increasingly, experts are emigrating to developed nations from poorer ones. The biggest problem caused by this phenomenon is the resulting brain drain for the countries they leave, and the provision of adequate value is the most viable solution. One major problem caused by experts' emigration to richer countries is brain drain. This is because skilled workers perform important duties which help build the economies of their countries of origin. Doctors and teachers, for example, carry out the crucial tasks of ensuring a healthy workforce and nurturing current and future brain power. Consequently, if the occupants of these professional positions, exit a country in large numbers for greener pastures, it's economy becomes weaker as a result. To illustrate, a recent report by the United Nations shows that countries with the highest number of economic emigrants such as Iran and Nigeria, have also shown a progressive decline in their annual GDP between 2009 and 2017. As a solution to this challenge, therefore, governments of poor nations should provide sufficient value to their labour force. This can be done by ensuring that vital areas such as health, education and infrastructural development are prioritised in budgetary allocations. When these are properly funded, professionals would have the proper tools and equipment to work with, as well as receive competitive compensations and benefits for their efforts. For example, after the Ghanaian budget began to allocate over 20% of the annual budget to education in 2001, the percentage of teachers and lecturers leaving the country annually, dropped from 14% in 1998 to 5% in 2007. In conclusion, a large number of professional workers leave less developed countries for more advanced ones, causing a drain in their home country's mental capacity. A reasonable solution to this would be for governments of these countries to prioritize and add value to key developmental areas.
Increasingly
, experts are emigrating to developed nations from poorer ones. The biggest problem caused by this phenomenon is the resulting brain drain for the
countries
they
leave
, and the provision of adequate value is the most viable solution.

One major problem caused by experts' emigration to richer
countries
is brain drain. This is
because
skilled workers perform
important
duties which
help
build the economies of their
countries
of origin. Doctors and teachers,
for example
, carry out the crucial tasks of ensuring a healthy workforce and nurturing
current
and future brain power.
Consequently
, if the occupants of these professional positions, exit a
country
in large numbers for greener pastures, it's economy becomes weaker
as a result
. To illustrate, a recent report by the United Nations
shows
that
countries
with the highest number of economic emigrants such as Iran and Nigeria, have
also
shown a progressive decline in their annual GDP between 2009 and 2017.

As a solution to this challenge,
therefore
,
governments
of poor nations should provide sufficient value to their
labour
force. This can
be done
by ensuring that vital areas such as health, education and infrastructural development are
prioritised
in budgetary allocations. When these are
properly
funded, professionals would have the proper tools and equipment to work with,
as well
as receive competitive compensations and benefits for their efforts.
For example
, after the Ghanaian budget began to allocate over 20% of the annual budget to education in 2001, the percentage of teachers and lecturers leaving the
country
annually
, dropped from 14% in 1998 to 5% in 2007.

In conclusion
,
a large number of
professional workers
leave
less developed
countries
for more advanced ones, causing a drain in their home country's mental capacity. A reasonable solution to this would be for
governments
of these
countries
to
prioritize
and
add
value to key developmental areas.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People Believe That Competitive Sports, Both Team and Individual, Have No Place in the School Curriculum. How Far Give Reason for Your Answer and Include Any Relevant Examples from Your Own Knowledge or Experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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