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Some students prefer to study alone. Other prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which do you prefer? v.3

Some students prefer to study alone. Other prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which do you prefer? v. 3
Nowadays, consumerism has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, the upsides will justify these. On the one hand, consumerism which has seen as an unstoppable rise offers a number of manifest benefits. First, since mass production is significantly growing from this trend, job opportunities are provided for everyone more than ever. In fact, professions, such as office work or manual work, from factories and companies are available, helping people, especially the poor, access to employment to increase their income. Second, by going shopping at a frequent level, people can increase their living standards. This means that those with regular income, whether average or high, have a desire to make their families fully equipped or to help them satisfy their shopping needs, leading to higher levels of happiness. On the other hand, consumerism would bring more adverse consequences than benefits. First, in order to meet the soaring demands of customers, most companies and factories created the process of mass production, which would attribute to overproduction. In other words, commodities, either manufactured or purchased, would became the final production-wastes, leading to long-term environmental degradation as plastic bags or packages are fraught with difficulty to recycle. Second, if a whole host of people are becoming impulsive customers, they would waste a large amount of money. A vast number of people are willing to spend beyond their income on shopping constantly regardless of the consideration of their real needs, leading them to the burden of debt or the mortgage of personal property. In conclusion, it is an irrefutable that consumerism has been becoming inordinately, the adverse impacts are weightier than the aforementioned benefits. By monitoring their shopping styles, people would control not only their income but also their quality surroundings.
Nowadays, consumerism has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this trend is not without disadvantages, the upsides will justify these.

On the one hand, consumerism which has
seen
as an unstoppable rise offers a number of manifest benefits.
First
, since mass production is
significantly
growing from this trend, job opportunities
are provided
for everyone more than ever. In fact, professions, such as office work or manual work, from factories and
companies
are available, helping
people
,
especially
the poor, access to employment to increase their
income
. Second, by going
shopping
at a frequent level,
people
can increase their living standards. This means that those with regular
income
, whether average or high, have a desire to
make
their families
fully
equipped or to
help
them satisfy their
shopping
needs, leading to higher levels of happiness.

On the other hand
, consumerism would bring more adverse
consequences than
benefits.
First
, in order to
meet
the soaring demands of customers, most
companies
and factories created the process of mass production, which would attribute to overproduction.
In other words
, commodities, either manufactured or
purchased
, would
became
the final production-wastes, leading to long-term environmental degradation as plastic bags or packages are fraught with difficulty to recycle. Second, if a whole host of
people
are becoming impulsive customers, they would waste a large amount of money. A vast number of
people
are willing to spend beyond their
income
on
shopping
constantly
regardless of the consideration of their real needs, leading them to the burden of debt or the mortgage of personal property.

In conclusion
, it is an irrefutable that consumerism has been becoming
inordinately
, the adverse impacts are weightier than the aforementioned benefits. By monitoring their
shopping
styles,
people
would control not
only
their
income
but
also
their quality surroundings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students prefer to study alone. Other prefer to study with a friend, or in a group. Which do you prefer? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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