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some teachers say students should be organized into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Tell the benefits of each study method. Which one do you think is more effective? v.1

some teachers say students should be organized into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Tell the benefits of each study method. Which one do you think is more effective? v. 1
It is necessary that teachers not only aim to teach students the school curriculum, but also help them to develop teamwork skills as well as the efficient way of individual study. However, this raises a certain concern as to whether students should be instructed to study in groups or alone. Though, both methods have their own benefits which need to consider carefully. To begin with, group, application always helps individual to enhance the team work. Students not only learn how to perform in a team, but also improve their leadership quality. Besides, they can learn from other students and can avoid the same mistakes that others have made. Many times students are influenced by their friends. Therefore, if a student is with the company then he can learn quicker than individual. Further, students can get essential help from other group members in their weak subject and can learn how to improve in the critical situations. For instance, many schools organize extra curriculum activities which enhance students team work and leadership quality to make them ready for their future role. On the other side, individual learning improves efficiency of the student as no one is around to disturb. Thus, students can concentrate on their debate and can give the best in their assigned work. Further, they can understand how to perform the solo task where no one is behind us to support. As students are quick learner, they are always sensitive to the atmosphere around them. However, if an undergraduate is studying then there is no chance to inherit bad lessons from others. Moreover, personal learning gives us experience of all the sections of an individual task because the student needs to complete it without taking any help from others. For instance, many individual sports like tennis, chess and others make us master in the every department of sports. To conclude, although both methods have their own advantages, I personally believe, students should study in groups rather than by studying their own thanks to the necessary teamwork skills for their future occupation. Simultaneously, it is advisable that students should use others' ideas, flexibility to broad their perspective rather than depending too excessively and do not have their own position.
It is necessary that teachers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aim to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the school curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to develop teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as the efficient way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
study.
However
, this raises a certain concern
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be instructed
to study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or alone.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
, both methods have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits which need to consider
carefully
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, application always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to enhance the team work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to perform in a team,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their leadership quality.

Besides
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and can avoid the same mistakes that others have made.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are influenced
by their friends.
Therefore
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
then he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
quicker than individual.

Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
members in their weak subject and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in the critical situations.

For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools organize extra curriculum activities which enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
team work and leadership quality to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ready for their future role.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
as no one is around to disturb.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can concentrate on their debate and can give the best in their assigned work.

Further
, they can understand how to perform the solo task where no one is behind us to support. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are quick learner, they are always sensitive to
Consider using "the surrounding atmosphere".
the atmosphere around them
.
However
, if an undergraduate is studying then there is no chance to inherit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
lessons from others.

Moreover
, personal learning gives us experience of all the sections of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
needs to complete it without taking any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from others.

For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
sports like tennis, chess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us master in the every department of sports.

To conclude
, although both methods have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages, I
personally
believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
rather
than by studying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thanks to the necessary teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future occupation.
Simultaneously
, it is advisable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
others'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, flexibility to broad their perspective
rather
than
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depending on".
depending
too
excessively
and do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
position.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay some teachers say students should be organized into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Tell the benefits of each study method. Which one do you think is more effective? v. 1

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
368 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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