Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some students prefer to do their assignments by themselves, others prefer to do ii in group. which one would you prefer? v.1

some students prefer to do their assignments by themselves, others prefer to do ii in group. which one would you prefer? v. 1
In this constantly-changing world, indeed that science has awarded and contribute a lot to our life. It plays an undeniably crucial role to the society, but it seems does not satisfy in every aspect. I totally agree with those opinions that Arts is an indispensable part that cannot be missed. Human always seek for beauty in every corner of the world so the very first function of the art is to carry out those unique and attractiveness from different cultures, times and to take care of people's spiritual life, refresh it. For example, the museum opens for people around the world, from all nationalities and generations to contemplate and reflect or just simply relax. One more function of art is to be honoured like the Rushmore Mountain has been built to commemorate America's greatest presidents throughout the terms. Secondly, art can be used as a mean to help everyone get out of a dull, boring and uninteresting world. Obviously, art can make world becomes a worthier place to live and showing one's personalities. For example, lots of research show that by decorating photos or paintings which include green colour in the workplace can help people get out of stress and pressure quickly. Moreover, different forms of art include dancing, music, literature, acting and drawing can help people a lot to broaden their awareness as well as express themselves. Or in other words, art plays a vital role in supporting people to get a better, easier and more motivating life. In conclusion, it seems to me that although science brings many crucial achievements for life, it does not add entertainment for people, hence arts still remain a high level in everyone's life.
In this
constantly
-changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
indeed
that science has awarded and contribute a lot to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It plays an
undeniably
crucial role to the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems does not satisfy in every aspect. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those opinions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
is an indispensable part that cannot
be missed
.

Human always seek for beauty in every corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
function of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is to carry out those unique and attractiveness from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, times and to take care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's spiritual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, refresh it.
For example
, the museum opens for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, from all nationalities and generations to contemplate and reflect or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
relax. One more function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
like the Rushmore Mountain has
been built
to commemorate America's greatest presidents throughout the terms.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a mean to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of a dull, boring and uninteresting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
becomes a worthier place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and showing one's personalities.
For example
, lots of research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that by decorating photos or paintings which include green
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
in the workplace can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure
quickly
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
include dancing, music, literature, acting and drawing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a lot to broaden their awareness
as well
as express themselves. Or
in other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a vital role in supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better, easier and more motivating life.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that although science brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial achievements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
entertainment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
still
remain a high level in everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some students prefer to do their assignments by themselves, others prefer to do ii in group. which one would you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts